Amenah's Quotes

Amenah

Amenah
posted a quote
June 17, 2016 3:40am UTC

I think I'm gonna be okay. I think I'm gonna be just fine.

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Amenah
posted a quote
June 17, 2016 3:35am UTC

Yeah, so it's not the life I dreamed of. It's not exactly how I thought it was gonna be. But is it ever? Does anyone get that? This is what I've got to work with, and I'm gonna make it work for me. There's a reason they call it the movie-reel life versus your real one.

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Amenah
posted a quote
June 17, 2016 3:31am UTC

at the end of the day, the smart thing to do is sxck it up and go along your merry way. there's worse out there. there's worse than what you're going through. people get through it. they're fine, and you're fine. besides, you making your own life more miserable than the bare minimum it has to be just doesn't make sense.

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Amenah
posted a quote
June 17, 2016 3:07am UTC

amazing, isn't it?
how people change.

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Amenah
posted a quote
June 17, 2016 3:03am UTC

But you know, I am grateful. I have good friends -- few, far between, far far away, but they look after me and they look out for me all the same. I love waking up to your 'good mornings'. I love talking about the mango trees in your back garden. I love the pictures of your beautiful daughter, and the complaining when the baby falls asleep in your arms. I love talking about the weather, about how hot it is there and how it's raining here. I love it when you ask after me and you want to make sure I'm okay and if we go even a week without speaking you get worried. I love that you're a part of my schedule -- I love that I'm in the habit of checking my skype and twitter the moment I wake up. There's lots to be sorry for and lots to resent, and of course these friendships come with their own problems, their own pains. But I'm grateful I get to call you my best friends. & I really love you.

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Amenah
posted a quote
June 17, 2016 2:56am UTC

You don't know me, and you haven't known me, and you will not know me tomorrow.

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Amenah
posted a quote
June 17, 2016 2:51am UTC

Don't tell me I'm your favourite. Don't tell me I'm the smartest, or the prettiest, or the coolest, strongest, funniest, most interesting, most loveable person to you. Don't tell me I am your most anything. Because I see you telling other people the same thing, and in the end I would have been a lot happier and lot more flattered if you could have put me up without putting all your other friends down. Please stop it.
This is not the only way to make someone feel special.

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Amenah
posted a quote
May 25, 2016 3:15pm UTC

i never know when to be honest and when to brush it off with an 'i'm good thanks for asking'. how do you know when it's appropriate to say that you're miserable?

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Amenah
posted a quote
May 23, 2016 10:54pm UTC

i want to do a summer project where every day from first june to 31st august i write a haiku on witty
i kindly ask anyone and everyone to talk me out of this. i beg you.

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Amenah
posted a quote
May 20, 2016 9:54pm UTC

I'm really sleepy, but I have some thoughts to share before I go to bed.
1. I think I'm lonely because I go too fast and look in the wrong place at the wrong time. And because I'm scared of letting people close in case we don't click like we thought we would (like we think we do).
2. I want a pet lizard, but if I get a pet cat as well, will my lizard be safe? I love reptiles. I want a gecko. And a snake. Lots of snakes.
3. I found a word for the squeezing throat and burning corners: touch-starved.
4. I have very, very few friends. And maybe none left in this country.
5. For a very long time, years, I have been the one who writes the heartbreaking stories. When my friends want angst, they come to me. Today, I learned about myself that perhaps I can finally close that chapter. I want more happy stories in my life.
6. I have known some cruel facts for a long time: telling the truths about me = dissowned. And I have long resigned myself (re: tried, failed, struggled) to the idea that I'd never live a full life for it. I am not -- cannot be, not me, not who I am now -- selfish enough to throw away my family for that. But I'm tryhing to look at it in a gentler light. I'm trying to treat myself like I would something I loved, rather than something heavy I have been forced to carry.
7. Nobody really talks to me. Not really. Or at least, very few people; not many people reach out to me. I think they care, but I don't think they care that much. Not enough that it matters how I'm doing if I'm not right in front of them... I would like to change that, somehow.
8. I want my gender to not matter to me.
Okay. Goodnight. xo

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Amenah
posted a quote
May 20, 2016 9:37pm UTC

but i don't care if it's cheesy or cliché
i was 12 and knew next to nothing about
how life worked, and i wanted to be happy.
i was 13 and angry and stilll new nothing,
and then 14 and angrier still and i'd seen
a little more and still didn't get it, and
you know what? i wanted to be happy.
i was 15 and i thought i should be happy
forever; i still didn't know that much.
and i was 16, and 17, and 18, and i saw,
and i learned, and i craved, and i scarred.
and i'm 19 now and i know that happy isn't
something you are -- it's something you go
through, it's something you live in bursts,
just like everything else 'life' has to throw
at you. but i am 19, and i burst into tears
too much, and i'm lonely, and i have a lot of
hurts i don't know how to carry without
burning my own fingers, and you know
what? i still want to be happy. yes, i cringe
about embarrassing phases in the past, and
i did things when i was young i would never
do now. but i'm still that kid who, after the dust
had settled, would take the rocks and pain if,
at the end, they got to be happy for part of it.
i am 19 and i know now that life isn't easy, not for
anyone. but i know what my lot in life is, and what
it doesn't always have to be.
and i still love to smile at the sky.
so tell me. who's the one who didn't grow up?
if i have to be immature to want to enjoy the
hours i've been given, let that be. i am content
with that.
i think i grew up all right. i think i did just fine.

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Amenah
posted a quote
May 20, 2016 8:53pm UTC

i live in winter

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Amenah
posted a quote
May 18, 2016 12:26am UTC

i can't decide whether in the end i should delete all my quotes or just give up and delete my account lmao
like.... there are almost 1800 quotes here i'd have to go through and individually delete one by o n e
and i'm not that eager to delete my account either but i
one by one
1 7 0 0 times
OTL

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Amenah
posted a quote
April 5, 2016 2:42pm UTC

It is too easy to be rough. It is easy to be harsh, cruel, blunt, funny in a way that makes someone feel bad. It's easy to make yourself unapproachable, to glare at strangers who keep eye contact with you too long or raise your eyebrow at a nervous joke told too hastily. You can be melancholy. You can be hurt, nursing past wounds, unraveling stitches to keep cuts bleeding and fresh — that isn't hard, it' isn't hard at all.
But I am tired of looking myself and seeing jagged edges. I am tired of wearing away at myself, keeping myself rough because an older me, a past me, a me filled with naiveté and bitterness, thought it was what I wanted. Because I've done it, and I've lived it, and I've grown with it, and I have learned that there is nothing congratulatory or aspirational about this.
There's a difference between self-respect and mean-spiritedness... scaring people away is nothing to be proud of. It is too easy to be rough, but kindness is easier to respect than a bitter smirk.

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Amenah
posted a quote
April 5, 2016 2:14pm UTC

so here's what it feels like
{ t o b e l o n e l y }
and now i'm not afraid
to know that i will be okay
w i t h o u t y o u .

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Amenah
posted a quote
March 17, 2016 4:51pm UTC

I have fallen sick to the common cold of friendship. It's sniffly and a pain, and I have to carry tissues around with me. More often than not it drives new people away. But there are those who will still talk to you, just turn away a bit — keep their distance because as kind as they are, they're still a bit put off. Best case scenario: your friends push you into bed and bring you soup and hot choclate, and sooner or later you've recovered, and you're more immune than someone who might not have suffered from it at all. But there's also the chance that they will leave for good, or — worst case scenario — you'll give to them as well.
I have fallen ill to a virus, strong and pervasive and resistant. It has many names. There's the scientific 'low self-esteem', although I believe they call it 'self-hate' in some countries — Australia, probably. There's the most-used phrase 'sorry I'm so this way', the street-wise 'I'm not worth having around', the coded 'I am terrible and you could do better', and the one everyone knows but doesn't like to stay when with company: w h y w o u l d y o u w a n t t o b e m y f r i e n d a t a l l ?
I have fallen sick to the common cold of friendship, and let me tell you — the flu s u c k s .

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Amenah
posted a quote
March 17, 2016 4:16pm UTC

i'm the type of person who reads a message, thinks to themselves 'FXCK ITS A REALLY IMPORTANT MESSAGE GOTTA ACT'
puts it away to re-read for another time where i am in a prime state to act (e.g. at computer)
and then just
forgets
to
ever
read
it
agai n

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Amenah
posted a quote
March 17, 2016 2:39pm UTC

I'm just past the age where calling people psychos makes me feel better after they've hurt me.

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Amenah
posted a quote
February 26, 2016 5:25am UTC

Time slows down, time speeds up, and I never stop wanting to hear the words you have to say. Let them change; let the wind wear you down, let mountains turn to dust, let the drought drown the desert, but for all that changes, you are infinitely intriguing to me —
and continuously, step by step by step, I adore you.
(yes, this is for you)

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Amenah
posted a quote
February 23, 2016 3:56pm UTC

Okay, new plan. Find something you can look forward to every day, however small or trivial it may be. Drag yourself out of bed. Let's try things that way.

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