Best Punny Quotes This Month

*crybaby*
posted a quote
July 15, 2014 2:38am UTC

eating clocks is really time consuming

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points

Acable97
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 11:25am UTC

here are twelve steps to avoid elevators

👍 this is good · read the comments · 27 points

SuperNovaChic
posted a quote
March 28, 2014 2:47pm UTC

Hey, thanks for defining the word "many" for me. It means a lot. XD

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points

*crybaby*
posted a quote
July 31, 2014 4:48am UTC

but why would we remove the wisest of our teeth

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
September 2, 2013 4:00pm UTC

Shark in Finding Nemo: *eats Nemo's family*
Nemo's Dad:
Shark: I know this seems fishy, but everything's going swimmingly

👍 this is good · read the comments · 25 points

Witty-Throwbacks*
posted a quote
May 30, 2014 7:27pm UTC

"Ahh, you're so hot!"
I whispered to a
plate of food I pulled
out of the microwave.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points

*crybaby*
posted a quote
June 25, 2014 3:40am UTC

I heard the funniest time travel joke tomorrow

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 20 points

*crybaby*
posted a quote
July 30, 2014 4:02am UTC

What do you call a sick eagle?
illegal

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points

*crybaby*
posted a quote
March 19, 2014 1:05am UTC

I would never let my kids watch the orchestra, too much sax and violins.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

Casiguns
posted a quote
October 9, 2013 10:24pm UTC

What do you call a hooker that you pay with spaghetti?
A pastatute.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

*crybaby*
posted a quote
August 24, 2014 1:29am UTC

with great power comes a great electricity bill

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

TheGirlWhoLived
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 5:29pm UTC

i had a pun about insanity but then i lost it

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
March 20, 2013 12:47am UTC

Me in school
Teacher: *reading out of book* She drank the grape juice, sighing in delight.
Me: So you can say... that was grape juice?
Me: Get it? I mean't great- but it was grape juice...
Me: It's a pun!
Class: *silence*
Me: aHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahaHHAHAHAhAHAHAHahahAHAHAHAhahahHAHAhahhahahaHahahAHAhahHaha!!! Someone love me.
haha jk srsly guise, lurv mer

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

lost dreamer*
posted a quote
December 30, 2013 6:17pm UTC

So in my AP biology class the other day, we were getting really off topic...
Dr. Looney: *rings cow bell to get us to shut up*
Dr. Looney: You know, students are kinda like cows - one strays, the rest follow.
Ryan: You mean we're udder joys to teach?
Katy: C'mon Dr. Looney, you gotta milk it for all it's worth!
...AP biology, ladies and gentlemen.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 18 points

cocopuffs
posted a quote
March 27, 2014 10:31pm UTC

a dyslexic man walks into a bra

👍 this is good · read the comments · 16 points

StephanieCollado
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 11:17pm UTC

*Cop pulls me over*
Cop: your eyes look red. Have you been smoking weed?
Me: your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

Miluiel*
posted a quote
July 13, 2013 12:16am UTC

Me: I'm sorry I keep using all these softball metaphors.
Me: I can tell they're not really hitting home with you.
Friend:
Me:
Friend:

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

XxsilentxforeverxX *
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 9:48pm UTC

I was reading the book of Numbers....
Then I realized, I didn't have yours.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

Primadonna*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 10:35am UTC

Smosh
@Smosh
Follow
@TomCruise IF YOU GOT INVITED TO A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME TO PROM CRUISE?
********* please do not remove the credit, this format was made by petrichor :-) ALSO DO NOT REMOVE THIS PART EITHER BECAUSE THIS IS THE CREDIT TOO OKAY
← Reply
↵ Retweet
★ Favorite
••• More

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

Bec*
posted a quote
October 6, 2013 5:35am UTC

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?
2 Na (say it)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

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Best Punny Quotes This Month