Best Physics Quotes This Week

SuperNovaChic
posted a quote
April 23, 2014 6:44pm UTC

Physics teacher: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted back to you.
Me: Are you sure about that?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 104 points

SecretlyBrokenAndSilentlyHoping
posted a quote
September 16, 2013 8:08pm UTC

Physics teacher: We will not get distracted today!
Me: So how exactly is cotton candy made?
*Twenty minutes and five YouTube videos later*
Physics teacher: We got distracted, didn't we?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 85 points

ecawesomeness
posted a quote
April 11, 2013 9:30am UTC

First physics law of cartoons:
gravity will not work until you look down.
nmq

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 60 points

Bec*
posted a quote
April 18, 2013 4:47am UTC

Physics teacher: You can't be attracted tom something without it being attacted back to you.
Me: Are you sure about that.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 46 points

Serotonin
posted a quote
April 24, 2013 3:11pm UTC

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.
And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.
And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.
Aaron Freeman, “You Want a Physicist To Speak at Your Funeral”

👍 this is good · read the comments · 40 points

itsamadworld
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 6:42pm UTC

I'm bad in English, But I can tell you that I love you.
I'm bad in geography, but I can tell you that you live in
my heart.
I'm bad in history, but I can remember when I first saw
you.
I'm bad in chemistry, but I can tell what's the reaction
when you smile.
I'm bad in pyhsics, but I can tell
the intensity of spark in my eyes when they see you.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
April 18, 2014 1:04pm UTC

Teacher: I know a lot about physics.
Me: I could tell by the way you forgot the 'r' in 'fulcrum'

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

*•°¯`••songbird••´¯°•*
posted a quote
January 24, 2014 12:01pm UTC

*the talk that your mom gives you before a relative comes over*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

Serotonin
posted a quote
February 26, 2013 1:51pm UTC

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven, they decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den. He is supposed to count up to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it, right in front of Einstein. Einstein counts ....97,98,99,100, opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front.
Einstein says "Newton's out, Newton's out!"
Newton denies this and says I am not out. He claims that he is not Newton. All the scientists come out and he proves that he is not Newton. How?
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m square. That means I am Newton per meter square.. Hence I am Pascal."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

Loki*
posted a quote
May 8, 2014 2:34pm UTC

What do Nuclear Phyisicists have for lunch?FISSION CHIPSHa. Ha. Ha.I desperately need a life.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

Calibri (Body) *
posted a quote
October 18, 2013 1:18pm UTC

Physics Teacher: Does anyone know how astronauts communicate in space?
Random Girl : Skype
...
...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points

anime_lover
posted a quote
December 11, 2013 5:22pm UTC

I can be so awkward at times it's unbelievable. I was in Physics and i have a new Physics teacher. He is a student teacher and is very tall. The bell rang and everyone were putting their booklets on the desk he was standing behind. I threw mine to catch up with my friend and instead of it landing on the table it hit his pe*nis. Damn! It was hilarious and he sort of flinched and took a step back. I knew must have been hurt because i threw it with force. I was so scared incase i paper cutted him. Like seriously. I had no idea what to do so i started apologising so much and he was just laughing and then after apologising i just ran out giggling like a crazy person. The next day i had physics and everytime he asked me a question or was explaining something to me i couldn't keep in my laugh. It's so uncontrollable! D: There goes another teacher i can't make eye-contact with now.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

Serotonin
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 4:23pm UTC

From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest.
But for us, it’s different.
Look again at that dot. That’s here, that’s home, that’s us.
On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
- Carl Sagan

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

lynzee
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 6:33pm UTC

According to the laws of physics, everything has a force of attraction to everything else.This means that everything is attracted to you.Which means everybody is attracted to you.So, your crush is attracted to you.It's physics. You can't argue against that.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points

Kip
posted a quote
November 28, 2013 1:30pm UTC

The kind of jokes my physics teacher cracks for the class nerds"no falling in love in my class,the only falling i want to hear about is Newton's apple"....not funny,especially when most of us don't get it

👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points

FreakingPip*
posted a quote
October 18, 2013 7:45pm UTC

In physics, we're talking about vectors and now I can't stop thinking about Despicable Me when I should be focused on physics.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

-JessehBabeh-*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 12:45pm UTC

*Walks into physics lesson from instrumental lesson*
Random student: "Welcome to the house of fun"
._.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

skyewonderland
posted a quote
September 11, 2013 5:49am UTC

Physics is rubbish.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

RoseNightshade1799
posted a quote
March 24, 2013 2:23pm UTC

I wish that there's a job for cartoon physicists

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

Jade💕*
posted a quote
March 16, 2013 9:36am UTC

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!
The Big Bang Theory!<3

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

Witty Profiles

Best Physics Quotes This Week