Best Imsofunny Quotes This Week

glitter162*

posted a quote
August 28, 2013 5:36pm UTC

Have you ever thought about
how weird sleeping is? Like we basically dress ourselves in special sleeping clothes and lay on special sleeping mats and then spend the next few hours completely unconcsious all the while hallucinating vividly

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glitter162*

posted a quote
August 28, 2013 5:32pm UTC

Why is there Head and
shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who is shampooing their shoulder hair?
...Please come forward.

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glitter162*

posted a quote
August 28, 2013 5:20pm UTC

Me: Happy birthday!
Friend: My birthday was yesterday...
Me: Am I one day late, or 364 days early?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 95 points

glitter162*

posted a quote
August 28, 2013 5:28pm UTC

If I was a cannibal, I'd work
at a tanning salon so I could watch my dinner cook itself.

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glitter162*

posted a quote
August 28, 2013 5:23pm UTC

Working in an M&M factory
and throwing out all the W's

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glitter162*

posted a quote
August 28, 2013 5:44pm UTC

If you ever feel stupid,
just remember that I used to think that a "fandom" was a con/dom for fans.

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Breeze
posted a quote
April 4, 2013 10:50pm UTC

Hey! How was studying?
I only managed to get a few pages of eating done...
How'd it taste?
*reading!
Not that good... It was hard to digest.
Hahahahahhahaha I'm so funny! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
...
Get it? GET IT? "Hard to digest"?!?!?! HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA
I got it.
Format by Breeze

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glitter162*

posted a quote
August 28, 2013 5:41pm UTC

"Don't Stop Believin'" Feat:
(Hermione Granger version)
Just a city girl
living in a Muggle world
She took the Hogwarts train going anywhere

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
January 29, 2013 7:53pm UTC

That awkward moment
between birth and death.

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br0kenwings
posted a quote
February 13, 2013 11:30pm UTC

I may not be attractive, but at least I'm not a Directioner.
(hides)

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glitter162*

posted a quote
August 28, 2013 5:26pm UTC

Was the "D" in Donkey Kong
a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong, right?
These are the things that keep me up at night.

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MyWittyProfile
posted a quote
August 8, 2013 12:59am UTC

tumblr
I wanna be your friend uhhh lol
▼
■ Anonymous
i wanna be my friend too but it rlly sucks bc people get scared when u talk to urself
Ask a question
◀

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IJustNeedLovee
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 5:31pm UTC

Friend
*posts picture of self* I don't always use the internet but when I do EYEBROWS
Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
Me
I always use the internet... you could say I-BROWSE!
26 minutes ago · Like
True stuff

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 21 points

*♥︎Lady Ave♥︎*
posted a quote
September 7, 2013 7:54pm UTC

Plot Twist: My Prince-Charming Will Find Me One Day.

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
April 29, 2013 2:16pm UTC

When I was younger...
When we would have snacks that could be counted, (skittles, chips, M&M's)
I would say 'May I have some?' And my brother would give me four while saying-
'S-O-M-E.' I kept getting angry because my 5 year old vocabulary wasn't as extended
as his, so I went to my mom and she told me to say 'Multitudinous' and I did and my
brother didn't know what that meant so he gave me the whole bag of skittles.
And thats how my cat got hit by a truck.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

Jessica♥*
posted a quote
January 28, 2014 1:13pm UTC

what do you say to your sister if she is crying?
"are you having a CRISIS?"

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Just an average kid*
posted a quote
August 26, 2013 4:41pm UTC

Two men walk into a bar.
You'd think the second one would've seen it coming.
;)
bahahahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaa

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
July 27, 2013 12:28am UTC

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A TIME WHEN I WAS EMBARASSED.
It all started when I typed something wrong on a chat box, while I was talking to some guy on voice chat.
He made fun of me for using "your" instead of "you're".
I said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at grammage."
Do you see the issue?
I said grammage.
GRAMMAGE.
WHAT. THE. FLIPPING DOLPHINS.
Was is a cross between "Grammar" and "Language"?
Grammage. It rolls off your tongue. Sorta. (sorta, as in -not really-)
This could be a new thing, ya know? like "Pardon my grammage, young bloke!!"
..or not. ya know. whatevs.

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angelsparks
posted a quote
November 18, 2013 8:15pm UTC

I dressed up as a keyboard mallet at the end of marching season costume party...
so I could walk around and tell people "I like to bang things"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

mtndewhm*
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 6:15pm UTC

Unfollowed me, huh?
Well then I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

Witty Profiles

Best Imsofunny Quotes This Week