Best Babies Quotes This Week

happiest*
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 2:19pm UTC

how do mermaids have babies
why didn’t tarzan have a beard
why didn’t aladdin have nipples

👍 this is good · read the comments · 223 points

glitter162*

posted a quote
April 13, 2013 12:24pm UTC

Here's an idea:
Hide babies everywhere in your house. When someone asks where babies come from, say "Where don't they come from?", and start opening all the cabinets.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 209 points

Alexwise
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 6:31pm UTC

Teacher: any questions?
Me: yes, where do babies come from?
Teacher: this is Spanish class Alex
Me: oh sorry, ¿de donde vienen los bebes?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 162 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 12, 2013 2:22pm UTC

babies are being born today its someones birthday today it’s the best day of someones life today some one just had their first kiss someone is getting married today today is beautiful and if you don’t think that is the coolest thing I don’t know what to tell you

👍 this is good · read the comments · 140 points

Lolsorue_girl
posted a quote
April 4, 2013 3:07pm UTC

The cutest thing in the world
is when a baby holds your finger
with
their whole hands ♥
format credit to OneDirection

👍 this is good · read the comments · 125 points

kolbey_steffensmeier*
posted a quote
August 3, 2013 5:13pm UTC

I hate it when #10
You hold a baby and it screams bloody murder, so you sit there feeling like a monster.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 110 points

capsized*
posted a quote
November 26, 2013 2:51pm UTC

12th graders: ew 11th graders
11th graders: ew 10th graders
10th graders: ew 9th graders
9th graders: ew middle schoolers
middle schoolers: ew elementary kids
elementary kids: ew babies
babies: ew fetus
fetus: ew- wait how am i talking?!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 101 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
August 29, 2013 2:41am UTC

my cousin matthew is a very intelligent scientist but his wife is going to have a baby in 8 weeks and he is SO CLUELESS about babies. here, have some actual conversations?:
matthew: do you think we're going to need a car seat?
my auntie: um. you need one of those if you're going to drive the baby anywhere.
matthew: oh. the hospital's only a few blocks away so i thought we could just walk home with the baby.
my auntie: what if it rains?
matthew: i have an umbrella!
dad: matt, maybe you shouldn't buy a cot. maybe you should just use one of those cardboard boxes they use to transport bananas, those boxes have air holes and everything.
matthew: that's a great idea but i don't think i have any, maybe you could mail one to me?
matthew: is it okay to feed babies apple juice after a few weeks?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 84 points

capsized*
posted a quote
July 27, 2013 2:34pm UTC

it only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby
doES THAT NOT BLOW YOUR MIND LIKE AT LEAST THERE SHOULD BE SOME FLOUR OR SOMETHING

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 69 points

glitter162*

posted a quote
May 18, 2013 2:15pm UTC

I can't stand when people say a
babies age in months after a year old. Like, "Yeah, he's 29 months old."
"Bit/ch, don't make me do the math."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 69 points

DoHaBr
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 3:59pm UTC

----------------------------------
Dear Boys,
Untill the day you start having periods, have babies and watch the one you love be with someone else all together, you aren't as strong as you think.
Sincerely, Girls.
----------------------------------

👍 this is good · read the comments · 61 points

KT_143
posted a quote
January 29, 2013 3:02pm UTC

Some babies were dropped on their heads
But you were clearly thrown at a wall.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 50 points

DeathlyHallows
posted a quote
April 19, 2013 4:41pm UTC

*sees hot guy*
Me: Omg, have my babies.
Me: You're sexy and you know it.
Me: Kidnap me now.
Me: Why don't you go to my school?
Me: Omg, make a witty!!
Me: Wait, if he makes a witty, I will not be attractive to him.
Him: *turns around*
Me: *makes most unappealing face*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 34 points

glitter162*

posted a quote
April 13, 2013 3:42pm UTC

Isn't it ironic that
Children's Day is 9 months after Valentines Day?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 36 points

ily44forever
posted a quote
March 28, 2013 11:54am UTC

let me say.
You're lucky we don't live in the
1800s, or I would already be
married to
you

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 33 points

br0kenwings
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 7:48pm UTC

So let's toast to the good life;
just let go and free your mind.
Let the beat be your lifeline,
make it feel like the first time.
Please don't remove this!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points

DeathlyHallows
posted a quote
February 15, 2014 3:25pm UTC

Just think about how many births there's going to be in 9 months.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 20 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 2:53pm UTC

Mom: I remember seeing an ultrasound of you.
Mom: Your arm and leg nubs were moving.
Me: I was practicing for Twerk Nationals

👍 this is good · read the comments · 17 points

capsized*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 8:56pm UTC

babies are so dumb they can’t even do basic calculus

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

Dishonored*
posted a quote
September 20, 2013 9:11pm UTC

*waits for all the comments
complaining about the new witty
layout because even though everyone
knew it was coming they'll still be babies
about it because it always happens that way.*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

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Best Babies Quotes This Week