Witty Profiles

sarahmarlowXxx

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
This quote does not exist.

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bunnylover43
posted a quote
April 13, 2013 11:08am UTC
Witty Profiles
http://www.wittyprofiles.com
Do you feel like you're a potato?, A cat person
No one cares about your imaginary relationship
with a character from a book?
Well Witty Profiles is just for you!
Did you think that was a Ad?

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
April 1, 2013 3:09pm UTC
It’s overused.
It’s a cliché.
It’s corny.
It’s just a line.
It’s illogical.
It’s troublesome.
It’s always too abrupt.
It’s never on cue.
It’s difficult to say.
It will be held against you.
It’s too bold.
It’s often quite pathetic.
It’s amazing how, after everything,
I love you still works.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 402 points
jimmy365
posted a quote
April 9, 2013 3:35pm UTC
have u ever
accidentally opened the wrong cabinet in ur kitchen and it’s just like wtf how long have i lived here again
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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Rajsonkar
posted a quote
March 30, 2013 7:40am UTC
Who Remember This?
Phineas: Ferb, I know what
we're going to do today!
Ferb:
Isabella: Hey Phineas. Whatcha'
doooin'?
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
Evil Jingle Singers:
Doofenshmirtz Evil,
Incorporated!
Random Adult: Aren't you a little
young to __________?
Phineas: Yes. Yes I am.
Candace: Mom! Phineas and
Ferb are _______________
Candace: Ooh, you are sooo
busted.
Candace: Mom! Mom!
Candace: [shocked] But-but-but-
but-but...
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Curse you,
Perry the Platypus!!!
Phineas: Oh, there you are,
Perry.
Perry: grrrrrrrr Format Credit To Rajsonkar

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
April 2, 2013 1:26pm UTC
BravoSierra's format
I take the L and R
on my headphones more seriously than I take school.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
April 8, 2013 12:42pm UTC
BravoSierra's format
90% of the ocean is unexplored,
yet you're going to tell me mermaids don't exist.

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lexybaybay741
posted a quote
April 18, 2013 3:31pm UTC
So today in English, we got into groups.. We had to write a poem about forgiveness in the group.
We then had to read it to the class.
I was the only girl in my group
The guys made me read the poem..
I know you guys are probably like "big deal, you always have to read"
Well.. It is a big deal.. I suffer from all types of anxiety..
So when I had to read today, I turned beat red, started stuttering, and then i was being laughed at.
I ran out of the classroom as fast as i could crying my eyes out..
My best guy friend, Alec is in that class.
He chased after me and found me.
He said "Lexy, you're the most amazing girl in the world, why the heck are you letting them get to you"
I said "I am just an embarassment."
He said "Well do me a favor"
I said "sure what is it"
He got down on one knee
He then said "Do me a favor and be my embarassment at the Prom?"
I cried..
He said "Oh and be my girlfriend too..
I think I am the happiest girl in the world right now...

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jimmy365
posted a quote
April 8, 2013 7:28pm UTC
girl: sir can i go to the toilet
male teacher: no you cannot you know the rules wait until the end of the lesson, how dare you ask such a question when you know that all toilet trips must be taken at breaks and lunch, i can not believe you would jeopardize your education for something that can wait one more hour, you ungrateful child
girl: but im having girl issues
male teacher: omfg go
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
April 22, 2013 2:19pm UTC
Maybe this is what
the Mayans predicted.
Not an asteroid or a solar flare,
but the end of what we are.
We no longer cherish life,
or the other people,
or even the earth or the animals
or the resources put on it.
War.
Genocide.
Abuse.
Senseless mass murder.
Animal cruelty.
Gluttony.
Greed.
And waste.
Look around you,
the end of the world is already here...

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
April 10, 2013 7:19pm UTC
phy-ed teacher: you need exercise.
me: it's pronounced "extra fries"

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
April 9, 2013 8:51pm UTC
Normal people with their crush
Them: Okay, I've liked him for about a month now, it's time I tell him!
Me: Day 76,435 and I still am watching from this bush. Soon, I will approach him. Soon.

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Cammie
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 4:34pm UTC
"I babysat this six year old, and I was wearing shorts today..
and my scars were showing, I guess. He poked them and he said, "I know how those got there." I replied, "How?" He looked at me with a straight face and he said, 'I've seen them before. My big sister had them, and she said mean people put them on your body when they weren't nice to you, because when people are mean to you, you end up being mean to yourself. My big sister went away. I don't know where she went. Mommy said she's on a happy vacation somewhere, because she was too sad here. I miss her. Don't go on a vacation, please.'"

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bye*
posted a quote
April 20, 2013 7:45pm UTC
do u ever listen to a song and u can just tell the singer has a beard

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LiveLaughLoveBelieve
posted a quote
April 20, 2013 5:23pm UTC
Today,
My friend was raging,
So I said,
Is this the Krusty Krab?
And she said,
No...this is Patrick
And that, kids, is the story of how I got my friend to stop raging

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
April 20, 2013 11:23pm UTC
me: *writes HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY in really big letters in every birthday card ever because I have no idea what to write but don't want to leave a blank space*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 190 points
ChocoTaco
posted a quote
April 13, 2013 5:19pm UTC
Me: *Gets haircut*
Me: *Rants to mom for the rest of the day about how the hair dresser isn't qualified, and clearly doesn't how much two inches is*

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ThatOneGIrlYouNeverForget
posted a quote
April 16, 2013 8:11pm UTC
My best friend used to cut herself.
Today her boyfriend broke up with her.
he told her:
"I don't like walking around with a girl with scars all over her arms and legs. It makes people stare."
She asked:
"Do you still think I'm beautiful?"
He said:
"No. I lied because I felt bad."
Wanna know what she said?:
"... I'm sorry..."

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happiest*
posted a quote
April 14, 2013 7:51am UTC
To her classmates;
She is a quiet girl.. who doesn't talk that much.
To her friends;
She is a funny, outgoing girl.. that always makes them laugh.
To her best friend;
She is a crazy, fun girl.. that's always there for her.
To her boyfriend;
She is an amazing girl.. that he loves more than anything.
And to herself;
She's completely worthless..... it ain't right.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 437 points
Cammie
posted a quote
April 14, 2013 3:16pm UTC
*Pushes door to walk out but it doesn't open*
Stranger: You gotta pull.
Me: Oh thanks. My next option was to lift from the bottom.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 454 points

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