Witty Profiles

chelseasalvemini

1. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   January 26, 2014 6:21am UTC
   Half the world’s starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 137 points
2. ChocoTaco
   posted a quote
   February 1, 2014 7:52pm UTC
   Me: *dies*
   Mom: This is no excuse.
   Mom: *Brings corpse to school*
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 194 points
3. Gpc11
   posted a quote
   December 13, 2013 5:30am UTC
   my teacher was like "you can fit 63 earths into Uranus" and I was like......"64 if you relax"
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 83 points
4. DieiSomnians
   posted a quote
   September 24, 2013 8:27am UTC
   “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
   ― Martin Luther King Jr.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
5. DieiSomnians
   posted a quote
   December 1, 2013 1:58am UTC
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   Dear Notebook,
   I'm sorry I covered you in hearts
   Instead of writing in you.
   But you see,
   Its not my fault,
   Its his because...
   He stole mine.
   He wont give it back
   So I have to replace it
   by drawing all over you..
   Forgive me...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points
6. josie*
   posted a quote
   November 30, 2013 1:09pm UTC
   We're all entitled to our own opinion.
   I don't like you.
   That's my opinion.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 62 points
7. BravoSierra
   posted a quote
   November 30, 2013 3:04pm UTC
   My future husband could have a girlfriend right now.
   I am so mad at him.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 116 points
8. Bec*
   posted a quote
   October 1, 2013 8:24pm UTC
   I have three moods:
   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   ?????????????
   ???!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points
9. Bec*
   posted a quote
   October 7, 2013 11:08pm UTC
   Does anyone else get dissapointed when you see a really crunchy looking leaf and when you step on it, it doesn't do the thing.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 41 points
10. kissonthelips
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2013 5:03pm UTC
    How do girls even put eyeliner on their face?
    Whenever I do it i end up making it look like i have a black eye.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
11. ๑°`°º¤ø тнe_ιмpoѕѕιвle_gιrl_wнo_waιтed ø¤º°`°๑ *
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2013 5:29pm UTC
    my dad used to swear then say "Excuse my French,"
    one day in 2nd grade the teacher asked if anyone could
    speak a foreign language
    and I raised my hand.
    let's just say that it didn't go very well.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 33 points
12. ๑°`°º¤ø тнe_ιмpoѕѕιвle_gιrl_wнo_waιтed ø¤º°`°๑ *
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2013 6:19pm UTC
    sweat pants: created for exercise = used for the exact opposite
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 45 points
13. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 34 points
14. flyingbacon7
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2013 5:35pm UTC
    I do not have best buds
    I just have my ear buds
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 55 points
15. epictacos
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2013 6:01pm UTC
    My first thought when I get home from school:
    Wittyxxgirlxx format do not remove
    FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points
16. ✖︎whatever✖︎*
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2013 6:37pm UTC
    "you're always on your computer" well you're always on my nerves
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points
17. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2013 6:46pm UTC
    If I am ever on life support, I would want someone to unplug it.... and then plug it back in again. See it that works.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
18. LukeeyBrooks
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2013 10:44pm UTC
    Mom: You should get off the computer and go outside.
    Me: No, no, no, and no, no, no, did i mention no?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
19. awesomeness...*
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 9:48pm UTC
    WITH GREAT POWER COMES
    GREAT ELECTRICITY BILLS
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
20. SophiaIzAwesome
    posted a quote
    October 4, 2013 3:09am UTC
    It's cute that they sell family sized oreo boxes,
    thinking that people are actually going to share them with their family :P
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points

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