___Cryptic___'s Favorites

Rajsonkar
posted a quote
April 21, 2014 7:21pm UTC

Everyone is beautiful in their own
way.. Sometimes it just takes the right
type of photo editing app to see it
format credit rajsonkar

👍 this is good · read the comments · 52 points

BlackUmbrella
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 12:17pm UTC

person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person says... hi
PLOT TWIST: That person is confessing their undying love to you; spilling their guts and finally getting the courage to tell you how you feel. Then they think, delete it all and type in that one word.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 942 points

sammy*
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 7:44pm UTC

Pants without pockets: why
Pants with fake pockets: okay now you're just being rude

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1135 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 11:04am UTC

I use jokes from Witty in real life,
and my friends thiink I'm some kind of comedic genius.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1337 points

Connork11
posted a quote
January 15, 2013 4:21pm UTC

"It's not that cold out!" Said the P.E teacher with a coat on
"It's just drizzling!" Said the P.E teach with an umbrella
"Running for 20 minutes isn't that bad!" Said the P.E teacher sitting in a chair
"You've got to stay healthy!" Said the P.E teacher that is over-weight
"Being on your period is no excuse!" Said the P.E teacher with no unterus.
NMQ

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1471 points

Cammie
posted a quote
November 1, 2013 10:19pm UTC

*pokes my responsibilities with a stick*
what is this get it away from me

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 143 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 22, 2013 3:00pm UTC

me in class:
wait what happened
what do we do
what do we write
when's the test
what is this
how do you do this
what

👍 this is good · read the comments · 156 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
October 30, 2013 8:30pm UTC

In math class today
Teacher: Let's do a geometry throwback.
Teacher: How many degrees does a right angle have?
Student: Easy! 180 degrees
Teacher: What.
Every other student: What?
Student:
Student:
Student: I'm going to go cry in the corner.
Student: *runs into the corner*
Teacher: Is it hot over there?
Student: No, why?
Teacher: Because it should be about 90 degrees in that corner.
ba dum tsssss

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 172 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
November 10, 2013 6:53pm UTC

my bio teacher was telling my class that a lot of the traits we find attractive
in the opposite are the traits that would be best for our children and when we kiss someone and don't feel a spark it's because our DNA is too similar and isn't biology cool?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 191 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 10, 2013 1:46pm UTC

if you gave me $1000 to spend I would still click lowest to highest price

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 190 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 29, 2013 2:43pm UTC

THE WORST KIND OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD ARE THE PEOPLE WHO NOTICE WHEN YOU’RE EMBARRASSED AND BLURT OUT “YOU’RE BLUSHING” LIKE YES IM EMBARRASSED THANK YOU FOR POINTING IT OUT TO EVERYONE YOU PIECE OF SH-T

👍 this is good · read the comments · 186 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 7, 2013 2:10pm UTC

me: Oh god it's time to get up.
me: ugh clothing
me: Ugh hair
me: oh well it's too late to eat breakfast.
me: oh god I hate this place
me: no I don't like you leave me alone
me: Oh your boyfriend broke up with you? Please tell me more about how emotionaly unstable you are.
me: DON'T STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN HALLWAY
me: Nice azz
me: the f-ck you lookin at?
me: I wonder what would happen if I pushed this kid down the stairs.
me: Please just shut up
me: YES HOME
me: YES INTERNET
me: YES BED

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 198 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 28, 2013 9:04pm UTC

i'm sorry if i've ever told you the same story twice. it's just that i don't have an interesting life and cool things rarely happen to me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 190 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 28, 2013 9:09pm UTC

on the bright side, i'm not addicted to cocaine yet

👍 this is good · read the comments · 199 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
November 8, 2013 6:53pm UTC

*12-year-old white girl voice*
"But like I'm so depressed because I'm so socially awkies. And like I'm never getting a best friend. Only cats love me. I like knitting and starbucks. And idk what a boyfriend is lol. Don't judge me haters. Tumblr is my life xD. hahahaha what is air? NUTELLLAAAAA!!11!"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 217 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
October 28, 2013 1:09pm UTC

i may be ugly and annoying,
but at least the background on my phone isn't a selfie

👍 this is good · read the comments · 226 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 1:05pm UTC

u (◠‿◠✿)
did not (◠‿◠✿)
teach us this (◠‿◠✿)
why is it (◠‿◠✿)
on the test (◠‿◠✿)
BTCH (⊙‿⊙✿)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 229 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 25, 2013 1:35pm UTC

do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something
so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed

👍 this is good · read the comments · 354 points

^_^*
posted a quote
November 15, 2013 2:37pm UTC

getting into a relationship may seem like a good idea but so was getting on the titanic and look what happened there

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 117 points

spence*
posted a quote
November 16, 2013 12:13pm UTC

wait a minute this isn’t my homework
this is witty
how did this happen

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 132 points

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