UnicornSluts's Favorites

noahwood123
posted a quote
August 9, 2011 10:30pm UTC

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We should be able to text 911, in case were hiding from a cereal killer and don't want them to hear us.
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👍 this is good · read the comments · 7798 points

bunnylover43
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 8:03pm UTC

On average Menstruation starts at age 12
and ends at age 52
40 years of period
480 periods
480 periods x the averge length of 5 days
That's 2400 days of bleeding
6.58 years of blood
Oh my God
And guys say periods arent that bad
I'd like to see you bleeding 2400 days for 40 years

👍 this is good · read the comments · 207 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
July 9, 2013 11:16am UTC

Phineas and Ferb: There's 104 days of summer vacation
Me: There aren't even 104 days of summer.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 221 points

happiest*
posted a quote
July 8, 2013 3:42pm UTC

I DON'T NEED SOMEONE THAT
SEES THE GOOD IN ME.
I NEED SOMEONE THAT SEES THE BAD
& still wants me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 247 points

happiest*
posted a quote
July 7, 2013 3:00pm UTC

Reasons to date me :
1.No one will try and steal me from you
2.Sometimes i'm funny
3.I can't think of anything else

👍 this is good · read the comments · 239 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
June 24, 2013 11:25am UTC

Poking holes in your parent's condoms
so someone else can do the damn dishes.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 247 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 4:53pm UTC

Perks of not having a thigh gap:
When food falls in your lap, you can actually catch it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 278 points

Cammie
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 5:51pm UTC

Do you ever start rubbing your eyes
and then it feels really good and you can't stop so it's like eye masturbatÍon

👍 this is good · read the comments · 261 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 5:00pm UTC

growing up i believed that my stuffed animals
had feelings and i had to treat them all equally and let them all sleep on my bed.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 269 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 4:42pm UTC

excuse me favorite character,
did i give you permission to die

👍 this is good · read the comments · 275 points

dolph*
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 4:11pm UTC

I will never understand the logic of screaming as loud as possible at a concert
like wow you finally get to see them live in concert let’s make sure no one hears them at all

👍 this is good · read the comments · 336 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 30, 2013 5:09pm UTC

maybe the reason as to why i'm single is
because i've never gone to a new years eve party at a ski resort and sung karaoke with a complete stranger.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 344 points

happiest*
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 5:04pm UTC

Imagine in 20 years ...
Daughter: Mom, who is this ... One Direction?
Me: Some old boyband I was mad for.
Daughter: I found some posters in the attic.
Me: Oh, thats nice honey.
Daughter: The blonde one is kinda hot! Do you think so?
Niall: My wife better think I'm hot!
Me: .....
Daughter: ......
Me: .......
Daughter: Oh my god. I just called dad hot.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 325 points

kristabff
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 5:02pm UTC

Justin Bieber: Swag swag swag on you
Me: Ew help get it off get it off!!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 331 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 10:05pm UTC

what if it doesn't want to be called
"hot sauce" what if it wants to be called beautiful sauce?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 343 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 12, 2013 1:05am UTC

how the hell do some girls get boyfriends
so easily, like do you just create them in your basement or what

👍 this is good · read the comments · 451 points

sammy*
posted a quote
March 11, 2013 4:53pm UTC

do you ever just sit there and look at yourself and examine
every single detail about yourself and just get really upset
because you're you

👍 this is good · read the comments · 479 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 3, 2013 4:30pm UTC

the mayans taught me something,
that if you don't finish something... well, it's not the end of the world.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 437 points

MissTomlinson
posted a quote
February 23, 2013 7:38pm UTC

Me: Taylor Swift is a bad singer. Do you agree?
Siri: I have no comment. I do not want a song written about me.
not mine. not meant to offend swifties, just thought it was funny. follow for a follow.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 420 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 23, 2013 1:43pm UTC

scientist: the average teen goes on the
internet 16 hours per week
me: you mean per day
scientist: what
me: what
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 434 points

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