i. Pick yourself up. Literally. Get out of bed. Get off the couch. Get up from the floor.
ii. Turn on all the lights in your house. Make sure your bedroom is bright and alive.
iii. Actively think positive. Remember, positive things are attracted to positive thoughts.
iv. Indulge in that expensive chocolate you’ve been saving.
v. Eat that bag of favorite junk food you’ve been hiding.
vi. Get physical. Move. Sweat. Run. Surf. Swim. Do something.
vii. EAT. Even when you have no appetite. Even when it feels like the emotional pain makes you sick. Make sure your tummy is full.
viii. Eat a healthy well-balanced meal. Something you ordered from a mildly expensive restaurant or, better, something you cooked for yourself. None of that McDonalds take out s.hit. Not today.
ix. Paint your nails.
x. Drink juice.
xi. Drink tea.
xii. Drink hot chocolate.
xiii. Hug your dog. Hug your pets. Hug your friends. Cuddle with someone. Touch something which has body heat.
xiv. Inhale the sunlight. Don’t stay indoors all day. Feel the sun’s warmth unravel on your skin.
xv. Read positive things. Read funny things. Reblog funny posts on your blog. Watch movies that make you laugh.
xvi. Remind yourself of all the reasons why he doesn’t deserve you. Even when your insides are screaming he’s all you’ll ever want.
xvii. Get angry. Be cold, be numb. Be a frigid b.itch. F.uck it, who gives a s.hit? Turn off your emotions if you have to. He didn’t fall in love with a sack-bag of sadness wallowing in pathetic self-pity. Be hard on yourself. Your mother did not rip open her insides and v.agina for this. Destroy him. Destroy his ego. Make the pain you’ve felt worthwhile. Crush his confidence. Make him doubt his decision by not paying attention, not giving a f.uck. Even when, deep inside, you do.
xviii. Be good. Be kind. Bite your tongue when you feel like saying something unkind. Be a b.itch to him, but not to others. No matter how hard it is, don’t be mean to people that don’t deserve it. Your friends, the waiter, people in a lower social status than you. Don’t spread the virus of your internal negativity.
xix. Block him. Stop reaching out to him. Let him live his life. Socialize. Flirt with cute guys even when you think you don’t have a chance. Talk to guys on the internet, or in real life, even when you don’t want a relationship. Have fun. Make connections. Date. Discover friendships. Distract yourself. Kiss the wrong boys if you must. Find people that will actually WANT you and chase you and make you feel wanted. Even if it’s platonic, even if it’s shallowly sexual. (And while you’re at it, shower. Wash your face. Dress good. Wear red lipstick. Drag yourself by the hair out of your house and away from your computer.)
xx. Get enough sleep. Close and shutdown your laptop. Ignore your phone. Don’t lose sleep over him. Don’t wait up for him. He won’t be trying to contact you back, and neither should you drain your good energy hoping that he will.
— A Self-Guide to Surviving Boys and Depression
seafoam*