happiest* posted a quote
December 30, 2013 2:46pm UTC
one time I overslept and my mom came into my room to wake me up and said “you had better get up or else you’ll be rushing”. I wanted to say “if I’m rushing then so be it” but since I was still half asleep my mind changed “rushing” to “Russian”, I rolled over and said “if I’m Russian, soviet” and to this day it’s the best joke I’ve ever made
happiest* posted a quote
December 30, 2013 2:43pm UTC
an actual conversation i overheard on the train person 1: i'm not against gay marriage but i feel sorry for people with 2 dads person 2: what? why? person 1: they have to put up with twice the dad jokes person 2: omfg
happiest*