Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

Funnystory Quotes

  1. Vinita* Vinita*
    posted a quote
    May 22, 2015 9:32pm UTC
    Teacher: Yeah guys. So when you title your essays, give it an interesting name. Like it can be totally crazy.
    Teacher: One time, on our Salem Witch Trials essay Audrey titled it "B*tches-
    Teacher: *covers mouth*
    Teacher: *looks like little girl when exposed to p*rn for the first time*

  2. emluvsgummybears emluvsgummybears
    posted a quote
    September 6, 2013 9:36pm UTC
    When my family went to disney world we went on the haunted mansion ride and this actor dressed as a skeleton and came up to our cart and got right in my 3 year old brothers face and whispered "are you scared?" and my brother kissed him on the nose and the guy laughed so hard he had to leave.

  3. Vinita* Vinita*
    posted a quote
    September 4, 2013 7:10pm UTC
    So I was at McDonalds. And these teenagers thought that I was 4 years older than I actually am. And I was like,"Dam this bra stuffing is working."

  4. littledirectionerchristian* littledirectionerchristian*
    posted a quote
    July 19, 2013 9:07am UTC
    Mom: Get up.
    Me: (sleeping)
    me:( still asleep)
    Me: Why should I??? (sleepy voice)
    Mom:I said so.
    Me:(stil asleep)
    Me:(still asleep)
    Mom: Christian's here and he is waiting for you downstairs.
    Me: ( runs out of bed runs down the stairs and runs into a wall gets up from the floor, runs to the living room to find that Christian is not there.)
    Me: She just wanted me out of bed at 7... NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    This was my morning today. Got me up a 7 just for this. He wasn't there. I hate my mom now.

  5. BehindEachSmile BehindEachSmile
    posted a quote
    May 20, 2013 5:10pm UTC
    I am in no shape
    to work out

  6. FlowerChild13 FlowerChild13
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2013 9:28pm UTC
    How to be a Heartbreaker
    Chapter 5
    Avery's P.O.V.My head hurts so badly.
    Wait.
    My head hurts..which means..
    I opened my eyes, fully expecting to be at Courtney’s house still.
    No. This was much worse.
    I was in a bed. A bed not mine.
    “Holy. Crap.”
    “Is something wrong?” Eric. I was in Eric’s bed.
    “Ohhhhhh my gosh. No. No. NO. Please tell me nothing happened.”
    “Sorry, ‘fraid not.”
    “You’re kidding me.”
    “Actually I am. Nothing happened.”
    “Then why am I..here? In your bed?”
    “You passed out and I felt bad. Sorry for being nice.”
    “Sorry..I just..Why one earth am I in YOUR clothes?”
    “Yours looked uncomfortable..so I..put mine on you.”
    “YOU UNDRESSED ME?”
    “That’s sounds a lot worse than I thought.”
    “You. PERV!”
    “It’s not like that!”
    “Then what is it like? Please explain.”
    We both stared each other down for a moment until he finally spoke.
    “I didn’t do anything. I changed your clothes and put you in my bed. I slept on my living room couch.”
    “Oh..sorry for overreacting.”
    “It’s okay. I probably would’ve too.”
    “Well, I should go home.”
    “Let me drive you.”
    He began to grab his keys off his dresser.
    “My feet work fine, thank you.”
    As I stood up to leave, my headache sent me writhing in pain.
    “Yeah, I’m gonna need that ride.”
    He laughed and scooped me up bridal style.
    “You’re welcome.” He smirked.
    “I never thanked you.”
    Spoiler: "Tell me. NOW."
    AN: OOOOHHHH(: I am actually genuinely enjoying writing this, so I hope you peoples whol read this like it too! Please make sure you like or comment so that I know people are actually reading this since I'm putting so much time and effort into writing this.
    Thanks(:
    (like, comment, follow)

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles