My Mind In A Bottle.
About a year or two ago I was told I had PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). It is a mental disorder that can cause high levels of anxiety or depression. No, I am not insane, and I am no different from any other human being. Just like others, I worry about common things, but when I worry its on a higher extreme. A person like me, can never stop over thinking. It is a constant struggle of "ifs". I do not take medicine for this. I feel as if I should be happy on my own without the symptoms of depressents. A person like me with relive the past they had over and over. I upset myself and cry until I cannot breathe and passout. Why not go to a doctor for this?.. Because I don't need society labeling me as an Insane minor with a mental illness. The worries are not simple worries about waking up late for school, or if that crush I like, likes me back. The worries are the ones that are pinned to the back of the darkest part of your brain. The ones that people would rather ignore then to deal with. Where you whole body trembles and shakes, as if goosebumps where only the smallest sight. The pain in your chest isnt your heart racing, but rather breaking. You look in the mirror but only to say "I hate myself". The simplest of cries turn into a never ending sea that just doesnt seem to stop even for the longest hour. And when you're in you room at night with your knees to your chest, you're phone goes off to a person that says "Stay strong, you'll make it". As if you think that you'd make it when your mind is telling you that your worthless. To the only person that will make you ever feel happy feels the same way you do right now. That you wake up everyday terrified they leave due to suicide. But when you're with friends you laugh and smile, you are yourself. But when 1am creeps around the dusk wraps around your throat causing you to suffer. Is this a mental illness, or just simple caution? To the people that grew up everyday when their dad got home from work just to beat of his children. To the people that saw their best friend's life past right before their eyes. To the people that just wanted to get on a stroll to get something off their mind, but got caught by a person that told them to take their clothes off.
This isn't a mental illness, its fear of life repeating itself.
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