No one really tells you how the incurable case of not belonging seeps through your adolescent years and right into your adult life. It doesn’t really matter how many calendar pages I turn, I know the heaviness of finding my place will be right there waiting for me.

But I don’t think anyone ever feels like they completely belong, we just stop noticing – like the abrupt yet somehow still discreet transition from winter into spring, when one day you wake up and it’s warm enough to leave without a jacket. And eventually it becomes so second nature you forget when it happened altogether.

I guess that’s what I’m waiting for – the cold intrusive feeling to lift one day so I can see what it’s like to live without being constantly reminded to keep myself warm.