Jillian Marie* · 9 years ago
Fck. I have imagined everything I would say to you if I got the chance to say it, and now I don't even have the words. I guess I should just ask...are you really that sorry? I'm not. I refuse to apologize for anything I said, especially my last rant. You hurt me over and over again and I just stood by and took it, but I can't do that anymore. And truthfully, I wasn't the hardest puzzle to crack, I was the one thing you couldn't control.


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nevergrowup89 · 9 years ago
I am sorry. That doesn't fix what I did and I wasn't trying to. I just wanted you to know I do realize what I did hurt you and I apologize for that. And I'm sorry you feel I wanted to control you because that never was the case.
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Jillian Marie* · 8 years ago
I think I made it clear enough that you hurt me. And look, if this is you coming back to me begging on your knees, it's not happening. I can't play that game any longer Holly. I'm sorry.
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nevergrowup89 · 8 years ago

It isn't. I just wanted you to know I'm sorry, if you don't accept my apology I understand. I know I hurt you. I wish I could go back and go about it a different way. I hope you find happiness, Jillian, I really do.
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Jillian Marie* · 8 years ago
I just want to know what was running through your mind when you told him ues. I want to know why you didn't bother to tell me until I asked. I also want you to know that you are a giant effing hypocrite, because who was the one miserable when the online love of their life left them for someone irl, but then did the EXACT same thing to the one who they promised to love forever? Answer me that.
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nevergrowup89 · 8 years ago
I don't remember what was going through my head... We hadn't talked in months and I know we promised we wouldn't move on but I did. I couldn't handle the online relationship anymore and that isn't an excuse but I couldn't stand it anymore. And it wasn't because I wanted to sleep with him, we've been together a year and haven't even done that yet. So please don't think that was it. I didn't tell you because I didn't know how to. I did love you. I just couldn't stay in s relationship where I couldn't talk to them whenever I needed them. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I should have and I regret how I went about it. I know I'm a hypocrite and like I said, I'm sorry.
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Jillian Marie* · 8 years ago
Accepting apologies is the hardest part, and some part of me doesn't want to move on because to quote the ever lovely Alex Vause, "when you have a connection with someone, it really never goes away". I was unsure about it at first, but I really did care about you. Last year was rough for me and it was hard to be my own support as well as yours. I wish we would've met later in life because we would have been a helluva couple. Oh and two things....one- seven months clean BOOM two- guess who is going to be literally like thirty minutes from you this summer?
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nevergrowup89 · 8 years ago
I'm proud of you and if it's you the good, I hope you enjoy your time spent here. I agree and wish we could have met later. If we had... Who knows what would have happened. I know being the support system is hard, you think very poorly of me but currently I'm the support system for everyone in my life which is having a very bad impact on me. But I'm surviving.
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Jillian Marie* · 8 years ago
It is me! I'm going on a mission trip with my church youth group to Detroit (:

Anyways, back to the more serious stuff. I never thought poorly of you. I'm just angry beyond belief, but I know that you are an amazing person who deserves great things that I could never give you. I hope your man can give you everything you need and more, because I know you've literally been to he.ll and back and you deserve amazing things. Things have literally come full circle...I'm now the age you were when we met. It'll almost be three years. And I'm sorry I can't stay in your life, because you really are an amazing person, but I can't do long distance, especially with you, crazy girl :P
I don't want to say love you, but I'll at least say that I care about you a lot and pray that you have a better life down the road than the one you were living when we were together. You'll always have a place in my heart. And now I'm crying so...

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