So last night right after eating a brownie, I asked him why do you always say you're unsure about our future. We were cuddled up.
He asked me where do you see yourself 3 years from now?
I said happy. He said no really. I thought about it and said what do you mean? He said do you see yourself with a c a r e e r? fit blah blah blah.
I said dispatch. He looked at me like oh wow. How lame. But didn't say it.

He then said I can't settle with somone who's still figuring their life out in a smug way. He sounded so sure. So confident.

I got silent. Then and there I thought what if I never become something, what If I remain in this minumum wage job. What if I'll never be successful.
He's going to leave me point blank again. This guy has nothing to lose. He's successful, I guess he'll always have someone.

He's always been what if we don't work out. What if because of your parents? I say It's in my hands. What if the wedding doesn't work out- I go silent. What if you're not at where you want to be career wise (YOU'RE STUPID YOU LOSER, YOU'RE A NOBODY)

At that moment, I realized I may be just an option. He did not take in account how he feels for me. What type of person I am. Perhaps I was wrong about him and hes like every other piece of sh*t but just better at voicing his opinion and sugar coatingn his words.

Until now princess, I really want you to workout hard, very hard. Get those abs to show. Get smarter. You learn to voice your opinion better. Be a better person than yesterday and please as every day goes by smile, and keep that sense of humor running. It is the only thing that will help you get by.