I see your fake smile. Because
believe me, darling, I know that smile. I know what it feels like
to reply, "I'm good." when someone asks you how you
are. But not because you are good, because you're just so
used to saying it, that you don't even think about it
anymore. You don't even realize the question that's being
asked. Your response is just so rehearsed, that is comes out with
no effort. Just like that beautiful smile, darling. It breaks
your heart to lie to those you love. It's so hard to tell
them everything is perfectly fine.
But it's even harder to tell them the truth. You don't
want to be in such a vulnerable state. You can't handle that
kind of pity. But you gotta believe me when I tell you, darling,
you're not alone. I'm here for you.
I understand that reflection you see every night. The one you
don't even recognize anymore. That same smile that you've
been wearing for years to fool everyone into thinking you're
fine, has finally fooled you. Just for that split second, when
you look in the mirror and see that stranger smiling back at you,
you believe it. You actually think you just might be happy. But
then, your heart starts to hurt, your body starts to ache, your
tears start to flood, and all the memories come back. You're
not okay. You're not happy. You're dying from the inside
out, and nobody even bothers to notice.
You feel like you're alone and everyone has given up on you.
But you have to believe me, you're not alone, darling.
I'm here. I'm right here holding your hand. I'm
rubbing your back as your cry on my shoulder. Even if you
can't see me, or hear me, I'm here. And I'm not going
anywhere. Because I know what it feels like to want to just throw
it all away and say, "fu-- it." I know what it feels
like to think, "I'm not worth it. Nobody cares about me,
and everyone leaves. So it's my turn. I'm going to be the
one to leave this time, and leave THEM hurting and alone."
But darling, you are so incredibly worth it. Your life matters to
me. Even if we've never talked, or if I don't even know
your name.
I'm here for you. And I care about you. I don't want you
to go anywhere. Maybe I'm your best friend, I care
about you, and I don't want you to go anywhere. I know
it's tough darling, but hang in there. Do it for me. Do it
for everyone who's ever told you they loved you. I'm so
sorry you have to wear this fake smile every day, but stay
strong, darling. Stay strong and hold on to the mystery of
tomorrow.
