Crying as I write this knowing I have no friends, why does this always happen to me, I always try to be kind to everyone, help them and this is what I get, they all use me, it's like they know I can't help it and they all take advantage of it:( they all hate me and now I'm back to suffering with dizziness, black outs, confusion, wanting to escape, passing out again, back to the same old panic attacks that I thought had been engulfed with my happiness but I guess I knew that sooner or later the dark shadows of depression would crawl back upon me, right back to where I started at the bottom of the glass hole that I cannot climb, the hole that lets me see everyone else laughing at me. I try to scream, I try to shout but no matter how hard I try, the sounds coming from my mouth are nothing but a mere whisper for help drowned by my anticipation to end it on this page.