Me: *takes off glasses*
Kid: How many fingers am I holding up?
Kid: *shoves hand in my face*
Parent: *laughs*
Me: *thinks* You imbecile, you'll be holding up no fingers because I'll rip them off and feed them to Satan himself. I don't know where your dirty little hands been, they could've been in your nose or under the toilet paper that you used to wipe your butt. Wash your hands and then go sit down and eat an ice pop whilst reading a book. And parent, learn to control your kid before some sicko really fulfills their threats of ripping off your childs fingers and feeding them to Satan, now go bring your child home and teach them manners.
Me: Haha, 5. *grits teeth*




(this-was-when-i-used-to-wear-my-glasses-also-a-reason-why-i-stopped-wearing-them)