I  lay  in  bed,  crazy  from  the  anxiety.
It  begs  me  to  take  the  razor.
I  whisper  over  and   over " i'm   okay "
Trying   to   convince   myself.
How   does   everyone   not   see   what   is   happening  to   me.
I   look   at   my   pills   and   wonder   why   I   am   a  monster.
Why   I   can't   be   happy.
Why   everytime   something   good   happens,   it turns   around   in   the   blink   of   an   eye.
Then   I   finally   decide   to   give   up.