Rest In Peace Casey
Casey, I hope I gave you the best life that I could have given you. I love you so much, baby. We all do. I don't know how I'm going to be able to get beyond this. You're going to have to help me. Give me strength. Help me stop crying. Allow me to move forward, because at this point all I can do is sit and wallow in pain and self-pitty. I am so lost. You were my relief from the world, my stress, my sadness. I know people are going to say "you were just a dog," but Casey, you are part of my family. I grew up with you. I have had you with me 14 out of 15 years of my life. I don't remember what it's like to have a life without you. I don't know what to do without you. This life is foreign to me. This isn't my life. I want to think that I'll wake up tomorrow, and I will wake up from this hellacious nightmare, and you'll be there. Things will be better. But I need to realize that this is reality. And you're aren't here anymore. But I don't want to. I miss you. I wish things could have been different. I wish I could have been with you when you died. I wish that I could have given you a better life. I wish that you were still here. I love you honey dew...
At 6:19 exactly a week ago from today, went outside and I found the body of my 14 year old lab lying in front of our back door. No one was awake. It was just me. I knew that she had been sick. Diabetes. Hip dysplasia. Heart problems. Cancer. I didn't expect to find her. I didn't want to find her. I still can't get the image of her cold, stiff, bloated body out of my mind. It's been burned on by the tears, by the memories. She has become part of the family. She was "Granny." She was my best friend. She was the reason that I decided to hang around. I miss you baby.
I love you.
I just needed to get that off my chest...