spy my heart
chapter 4: part
1
Finally classes started
up at ACE. With homework and college applications, came
distractions. Distraction from my own emotions, and the
depressing memories that caused them. I had gotten into all
the classes I wanted and had multiple with Jasey and
Belle. Entrepreneurship had to be my favorite
class. The teacher, Mr. Keller was really cool and
funny. We would be learning about business and how to
started our business by making a business plan.
The first day was going pretty well overall. Then I walked into
AP English. I was excited for this class since we would be
studying many of Shakespeare’s works (I’m a sucker
for classical romance). I sat down and next thing I know,
he walks in. No, not Luke.
Mason.
I didn’t want to think about him anymore. I never
wanted to see his face again. Not after everything he put
me through.
“Hey, Ava.” I look up and there he is.
Standing right there in front of me. “I’ve
missed you.” Ugh! That smile. That sweet
innocent smile. That smile that says everything is
okay. That smile that lied to me for weeks.
“Would you excuse me for a second,” I said, standing
up and heading down the hall to the bathroom.
I go over the sink and bow my head down. I feel sick to my
stomach. After taking some deep, long breaths I look
up to face myself in the mirror. I see the look of pain and
despair on my face. I lose it. Before I know it,
I’m crouch on the bathroom floor in fetal position bawling
my eyes out. I was strong those many months when everything
happened. I thought that I would be able to move and get over
it. I told my friends and myself that I would be
fine. And I believed it. I guess it is possible to
lie to yourself.
Everything came rushing back. His touch. His voice.
His eyes. His lips. His kisses. His hugs. His
lies.
Last year my mom went to the doctor with stomach pains. She
walked out with the knowledge that she had cancer. Luckily
they had caught it early, so it looked like she had a pretty good
chance. However, that didn’t prevent me from worrying
like crazy. I needed someone to be there for me more than
anything. And Mason was there. Or at least
he said he was. When he was around me, he seemed like he
was genuinely trying to make sure I was okay. When he
wasn’t with me, he was with her. I
don’t know who she was. All I know is that she is
part of the reason that my heart got broken.
I don’t know how long I was on the bathroom floor but after
while Belle came in.
“Ava?” she asked, concern in her voice. “Are
you okay?”
I took some shaky breaths. “I have to change English
classes.”
“Why?” she asked.
I took a deep breath. “Because Mason is in that class
and I refused to submit myself to seeing him every class,”
I said quickly in one breath.
“Did he say anything to you?”
“That he missed me.” My response was so quiet
that even I could barely hear it.
Belle helped me up and washed the salty tears from my face.
***
It turns out that I had been in the bathroom for the entirety of
the period because the bell as Belle walked me back to
class. Mason gave me a worried look as I walked into the
room. I immediately put on my poker face and looked
straight ahead.
Luckily my next class was studio art. I may love graphic
design, but that love stems from my passion for drawing and
painting. The teacher explained that our first three
assignments would be a self-portrait, a two point perspective,
and a still life. These pieces were needed in our
portfolios in order to apply to art school. I may not being
applying to art school, but what my teacher doesn’t know
won’t hurt her.
I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do for any of them,
so I took out my sketch book, grabbed a mirror and started
sketching myself. Most of the other people in the class
seemed to also be starting with the self-portrait. The
difference was most of them were starting with a structure.
They drew the basic shape of the face and then lightly sketched
in lines where the feature would be. I knew that most
artists did this, but I never had. I always started with
the left eye and then filled in the rest of the features based on
that.
The bell rang again and I was off to my final class,
calculus. You may like to know that I hate math. I
may be okay but I never understood how I was able to stay in
honors math course my whole life. I must be magic or
something, because I sit there in class, ask questions, get an
answer, and still don’t understand. I
somehow manage to always get by with at least a B-.
By the time I got to class there was only one seat left.
And who was this seat next to? Luke. Great, I thought to
myself, rolling my eyes. I’ll just have to get here
faster from now on so that I can get a better seat.
“I hope you like where you are currently sitting, because
these are your seats for the rest of the year.”
I choked on my own breath and almost fell out of my seat, but
Luke caught my arm. I wished that he had just let me
fall.
I stared at my teacher in shock. He must have seen the look
of panic on my face. “I hope that won’t be a
problem,” he stated. Then looking directly at me, he
asked “Will it?” Clearly a rhetorical question,
but I shook my head.
“Good. Now we are going to be jumping right in to
work today. Are first unit involves limits. Now a
limit is when…”
The teacher droned on and on. I let my hand fly back and
forth across the page in my note book, copying down everything
that he wrote on the whiteboard. Every now and then I
looked over and notice that Luke didn’t even a notebook
out, let alone the fact that he wasn’t taking notes.
I wondered if he was stupid or a complete genius. It made
me feel better to assume that he was an
idiot.
