I've been having a bad month.
This week was the first time I ever cut myself. I know most of you will say ' I do that all the time' but you dont know me. I'm that girl. That girl who is alway spossed to be happy. The one who smiles when someone calls her fat. The one who makes people stop cuting, not the girl who does it. I cut myself. I swore I that I would never have to say that. I cut. I did. The words don't feel right coming off my tounge. I've never fetl depression. Sure, I've cried, I've hated life. Who hasn't. I've never had to fake smile, I've always been that smily happy girl. Happy for no reason. That was me, but I just feel, sad. Not worthy. You know? Now, I'm not suicidal, unless thinking about suicide a few times makes you suicidal. I'm sure I don't think about it the same way most of you do. I don't think about hanging myself and people mssing me. I think about walking infront of a bus. No one would know why, or how I felt. I guess they would call it a mystery. In a few years people would be over it. I was that girl.
That girl is gone. she is dead.
I don't have a big interist about ending my life. Why? because I know people out there that have got it much worse than me. if they can stick it out, I can to.

I'm sorry but I just had to tell someone what I've been feeling.