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I'm just done. Don't want to deal with it anymore.
Can't stop crying, eyes are bloodshot and puffy.

    She betrayed me, but I don't care about that. If she would've told me, I would've been perfectly fine with them together. Instead she chose to avoid me. Constantly. Like she knows I'm angry and she doesn't want to face it. But I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed. What happened to friendship? And this isn't even why I'm crying.

     My Pa isn't getting any better, the cancer is spreading he can barely talk. I wrote him a letter since we're too far away to visit. My granma called me later and told me that he broke down crying when he read it. I miss him so much. I wish he had more time.

    My mom won't come home until he either gets better, or dies. And they say he won't get better. In which case, we'll travel there for the funeral then come back home. I can't stay here with my dad, brother, niece, and nephew for much longer. I can't take it. They're all against me. It doesn't even matter how I feel to them. They  don't care that I've been crying myself to sleep every single night since my mom left. They don't care.

     And worst of all, I think the old blades are coming out tonight. I can feel my bones aching for them. I just hope that I can keep myself together enough to not go too deep. I think they'd blame me if I did. If I died they'd remember me as an attention seeker, and that's the opposite of what I want. I want them to forget I'm here. Just ignore me.
No more fighting, no more screaming, just let me stay in my room forever.



This is my life.


 
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I'm just done. Don't want to deal with it anymore. Can't

7 faves · 5 comments · Aug 17, 2012 10:18am

ThatOneGirl_brokenhearted

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ThatOneGirl_brokenhearted


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marleesue · 1 decade ago
I'm here for you if you ever need too talk.(:
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screamitout · 1 decade ago
:( Need a hug? If you wanna talk I'm here to listen :)
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scoreoar9159 · 1 decade ago
im so sorry.im always here
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_beyoutiful_ · 1 decade ago
Please don't cut. I know what it's like to want them more than anything. Like when you're really in need of a hug, just a hug, and when you can't even get that, you feel like you need the blades. But don't do it. It's not worth it. Witty is for having people here to help you, and to not judge you. By this quote, I can tell you've been going through so much sh/t. And no one deserves that. I hope everything turns out okay with your grandpa. ♥ And if you ever need anyone to talk to, don't even hesitate to comment on my profile.
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AlltheLights · 1 decade ago
I'm so sorry and if you need anyone to talk to I'm here (: I know what you're feeling
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