Finding My Way
Chapter 6

It was Saturday; therefore our first dance class was today. Ben drove us there and the car ride was silent. About six other kids from the drama club were there, I’m assuming to start learning the background dancing for the number. I wore black leggings and a loose black tank top and Ben wore sweat pant capris and a muscle shirt. When we got there, I slipped my black heels on, and stood up, dusting myself off. For the actual dance scene, I would have to wear heels, so I wanted to get used to dancing in them now.
We jumped right into learning the choreography after a few warm ups and stretching, and we learned the first part of the dance where Ben and I are doing the dance with everyone else, before we separate and do our own thing.
When we finished that, the other instructor took all the backup dancers into another studio so Ben and I could work on our separate dance.
Ben and I stood together awkwardly in the middle of the floor as our instructor, Gina, walked up to us.
“Okay kids, I’m so excited to teach you this dance!” She smiled excitedly. “Unfortunately, my partner James couldn’t make it today but he will normally be here so we can set an example of how it’s going to look.” It sounded like she had a slight Italian accent in her voice. “Alright, so start off in the normal dance position with one hand in each other’s, and Ben your other hand goes on her waist.” She directed Ben, and I rested my other hand lightly on his shoulder.
“What? Are you afraid of cooties?” Gina laughed. I hadn’t realized how far apart Ben and I were. We were standing a full arm’s length apart; as far as we could be with my hand still on his shoulder and his on my waist. “Come on, we’re all friends here.” She said, pushing us a little closer together. I looked up into his green/grey eyes, and they were lighter than usual. There was small droplet of sweat that was trailing down his face from his forehead and I had to stop myself from reaching up and wiping it away. I was very aware of the hand that gripped my waist and I was, surprisingly, not repulsed by his touch. I looked back into his eyes to find him staring at me and I felt my cheeks flare up a bit and a small smirk played on his features. We both looked away awkwardly and turned our focus to Gina.
We got through the beginning, basic steps today, but we obviously didn’t finish. There’s a lift in it that Gina said she can’t wait for us to do, and there’s some tricky footwork, but she said if we practice with each other every day then we wouldn’t have a problem learning it. I had taken dance for 4 years when I was younger and I was fairly flexible, and Ben was just naturally good at it, as he was at most things.
As we drove home, I let out a sigh, thinking of all the time I was going to have to spend with him. And all the time I was going to have to spend acting like I was in love with him. I looked out the window and thought about our class today. I couldn’t believe I had been staring at Ben and thinking about how good he looked, even when he was sweating. It drove me insane. I didn’t like Ben; I could never like Ben, but he was so attractive. It just wasn’t fair. I felt kind of bad that his terrible personality had to ruin his beautiful exterior.
No, stop it Val! You do not think Ben is beautiful! He’s a jerk, remember? I tried to talk myself out of thinking Ben was attractive, but I decided it didn’t hurt that I thought that. It didn’t mean I liked him. If anything, it made it easier that I was going to have to dance with him and kiss him and spend a majority of this semester with him. But I still didn’t want to.
“Val?” I snapped back into reality and turned to face Ben.
“Oh, sorry.”
“It’s alright…Um, so did you want to run lines again? And maybe work on what we learned so far?”
“Oh, uh, sure. That’s fine.” I smiled tightly and he sighed and looked back at the road. He could obviously tell I didn’t like being with him, and I felt bad for being so blah. He didn’t want to be with me as much as I didn’t want to be with him. We were both screwed, so we might as well make the best of it.
We ran lines for over and over again, and I was getting pretty comfortable with them. We decided to run the party scene, so we could insert what we knew of the dance, and as we were running lines we realized that we had to kiss in this scene. Three times. I was screaming inside my head, and I was sure Ben wasn’t too thrilled either.
When we reached that part in the script, it got really awkward. Ben read his line and then stopped abruptly. The dialogue they swap in this scene is them stealing ‘sins’ their sins from one another to keep them pure, but really it is their excise to kiss even though they’ve only just met.
“And then, I, uh, kiss you...” Ben said awkwardly and I couldn’t help but laugh. “What?” He defended himself.
“Nothing. I mean, come on Ben, don’t be so first grade about it! Believe me, I don’t want to kiss you as much as you don’t want to kiss me, but we kiss like, five/six times in this play, you need to get over it.” I laughed slightly, even though I still wasn’t over the fact that I had to kiss my former best friend, the same guy who made my life miserable in eighth grade.
“Oh, please, you so want to kiss me.” He smirked and I scoffed.
“I do not!” I protested. “You’re the last person I want to kiss!”
“We could practice now.” He said, his smirk growing as he stepped closer to me, leaning in. He gently placed his hands on my hips and closed his eyes, his face an inch away from mine. Against my will, my heartbeat quickened and I felt my eyes start to close. Luckily, the little voice inside my head reminded me who about to kiss me and my eyes shot open. I balled up my fist and jammed it in his stomach and he doubled over and grunted. “Really Val?”
“Nice try, Ben. We’ll just wait to practice with Mrs. Flannigan.” I smiled, crossing my arm as I stepped away from him.
“Just trying to do you a favor.” He said and I snorted.
“Yeah, Ben, because kissing you would make me the happiest girl in the world!” I said sarcastically.
We finished with rehearsing and we actually…got along. I think we were just becoming more comfortable with each other, and we knew we were stuck with each other so we just wanted to make the best of it. But I still didn’t like him. I knew he was still a jerk underneath the act. Someone can’t change who they are in the matter of a few days.
But no matter how much I told myself I still couldn’t stand Ben, I involuntarily fell asleep, thinking of our almost-kiss.