Last night, my ex-boyfriend of 9 months, decided to text me.
.
.
.
When I was with him, everything was "perfect" in my eyes. 
I loved him, and he loved me even though we really couldn't see each other
since we lived in different states. 
We saw each other in secret, since my parents didn't know I was with him.
I tried my best to see him, and he did too.
And whenever we were together, it was like a fairytale coming to life.
But then, we broke up. And my whole world fell apart.
It took me months to "get over him"
And during those months, I started to realize he was absolutely no good for me.
He was the only thing I cared about at that moment. 
I ignored my friends, family, and everyone else around me.
As days went by, I was losing friends by the second.
I cried every night just thinking about all the things he could of done while I wasn't with him.
I was an idiot.
And he only wanted one thing from me, and one thing only.
To take my virginity away from me.
He never loved me, all those I love you's were lies. 
I was blinded for 9 months, and I actually started to hate him for everything he'd done.
But last night, just seeing my screen light up with his number on it, gave my butterflies.
It gave me hope. 
Yes, I sound stupid but it's the truth.
I know I shouldn't fall for him or even talk to him!
But I can't help it...
.
.
.
I hate myself for doing this