It was night time again.
That's when the pain comes back. During the day you get
distracted by your friends and other things. But at night,
when you're alone in your room. Everything comes back.
The pain. The loneliness. I just wanted it all to end. And
there it was, just sitting there. The blade that caused my
wounds on the outside but healed the ones on the inside.
Should I do it? No, I said I wouldn't. But what else was
there to do? Who could I talk to about this? Nobody would
understand. So I picked up the blade and...cut. God, I'm
an idiot. Maybe there's another way. I grabbed a pen and
paper and began to write. I wrote about the pain and
depression, feeling alone. I just wrote and wrote. You'd
be surprised how much it helped. I completely vented. I just
wish someone could read it, to know how I feel. But no. I had
to hide it. But I couldn't hide it for long. My mom found
that note. She got scared. She made me go to therapy. I hated
it. My therapist didn't help, she didn't care. I
could've pulled out a gun and said I was going to kill
myself and she would've pulled the trigger for me. I told
them I was better. It was a lie. A good lie because they
believed me. I had to get better at hiding it. They want to
help but they can't. I'm alone in this. After months
went by, I started feeling better. Then I met Chris. He
changed everything. He was the most amazing guy that I have
ever met. He was so talented, playing every instrument except
the oboe and harp plus he was a singer. He said all the right
things. He thought I was the most beautiful and amazing girl.
He was perfect for me. Only one problem....the age
difference. He was in his twenties and I'm only sixteen.
We knew it was wrong, that's why he said he would wait
for me. It was only eightteen months. I would wait forever
for him. He loved me and I loved him. Everything was falling
into place...then it began to fall apart again. Too good to
be true? My exact thoughts.
*This is all completely true. Thankyou for listening! Stay
beautiful"
<3
