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NeonFlower7

Status: cant wait for the future :) gonna get out of this town

Member Since: 25 Dec 2011 11:01pm

Last Seen: 30 Aug 2013 10:51pm

Location: Mount Olympis

Gender: F

user id: 255450

532 Quotes
18,634 Favorites
163 Following
167 Followers
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  1. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    June 3, 2013 10:32pm UTC
    Cant i leave this place for somewhere i can be comfortable being who i am?

  2. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    June 3, 2013 10:29pm UTC
    I cry because I'm not good enough

  3. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    April 28, 2013 7:08pm UTC
    I hate how everything is going well, life is all good,
    then all of a sudden its not.

  4. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    April 24, 2013 8:49pm UTC
    I know I am three years late, but I would like to bring your attention to Ty Smilley.
    In May of 2010, he could not take the bullies anymore and commited suiside.
    The worst part, he was only elevan years old.
    ONLY ELEVAN YEARS OLD...
    this sickens me too no ends,
    how can somebody or somebodies bully an elevan year old into taking his own life?
    A life that has not even started yet?
    His family now runs an orginization that tries to help people in Ty's prediciment
    and people who are going through the same thing they are.
    It is called Stand For the Silent and can be found on facebook
    If anyone has a problem with bullies on here, you can talk to me.
    Pray for Ty

  5. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    April 9, 2013 4:07pm UTC
    Books are like the porthole of a ship. It gives you a glimpse into a whole you have never known but it only lasts for a while. once the ship stops and you have to get off the portal closes. The characters are still there, living throuhg the rest of there lives like you never existed but in a world that is not known to us. After the last word on the last page the porthole closes, you can look through it again, but it will just show you what you've already seen. The authors are the only ones that can travel between the worlds, but if they decide to stop the story of a certain character, there job is done and the story will never be continued.

  6. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    April 9, 2013 3:43pm UTC
    You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers

  7. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    April 9, 2013 3:40pm UTC
    That's the thing about pain... It demands to be felt

  8. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    April 9, 2013 3:37pm UTC
    my thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations

  9. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    April 9, 2013 3:32pm UTC
    Its a metaphor:
    You put the thing that could kill you between your teeth,
    but don't give it power to do the killing

  10. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    April 6, 2013 3:20pm UTC
    My thoughts are killing me

  11. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    March 19, 2013 11:15pm UTC
    This is the way that the world ends
    Not with a bang but a whimper
    The hollow men t.s. elliot

  12. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    March 19, 2013 2:54pm UTC
    Please, love me

  13. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    March 8, 2013 5:04pm UTC
    I just want him to see me

  14. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    March 2, 2013 8:27pm UTC
    Ice
    January eleventh
    I was looking up at the ceiling as they wheeled my bed down to the MRI. I tried to get them to take me to the CT instead so that I could leave my ring on, but they told me that the best way to get a picture so I could leave was through the MRI. I had also got a call from my mother, she was at the airport in Dallas, TX and was going to be here late tonight and be in the hospital the first thing in the morning. Honestly, I was dreading their arrival. My head has been pounding all day and my mother’s nasally voice and my dad’s sport’s center blasting from the TV. Plus my mother doesn’t leave me alone when she’s with me. I don’t want to talk about it.
    They put me into the giant machine and told me I couldn’t move. I tried not to think of how the space was getting tighter and tighter each second I was in there. Or how it was crushing my lungs and that I couldn’t breathe. I tried to close my eyes and forget about it but every time I close my eyes I see his eyes. Not before long I couldn’t handle it any longer. I couldn’t help but scream. It was suffocating me, sucking my life out. If I had stayed in there for a second longer I would end up like them.
    They pushed the button to get me out by the machine just wasn’t fast enough. It moved like molasses. When it had come to a halt they inserted liquid into my IV, making my world black again.
    I woke up when I was being pushed down the hallway in my bed again. I didn’t know whether they just didn’t give me a lot of the tranquilizer this time or whether my body was getting immune from how my they have been giving me. I was still in shock but I was still seeing his eyes whenever I shut mine. The numbness was still there, surrounding me, making the edges of my body and mine fuzzy, almost as if I was just a ghost or didn’t exist at all. Would it been better if I had died in the accident? I didn’t really believe in an afterlife but any chance that I might be with them again. They were my real family.
    When I had gotten back into my room there was a lady I didn’t know sitting next to were my bed was going to go. She had my ring in her hand, touching it with her fingers, degrading the intensity of it and what it stands for. She had no right to have her fingers on my ring. When I had gotten back next to her I took it face from her and replaced it to where it belonged, on my finger. I didn’t say anything to her at first just looked. She was introduced to me as a hospital councilor.
    “I don’t want to talk to you,” I glared, debating on whether or not I should spit in her face.
    “This is going to be hard, you are going to need someone to talk to,” she waited for me to answer her or nod, or make any response, but I wasn’t going to give her any of the satisfaction of that. If she wanted to talk then she could, that doesn’t mean I had to respond, “We don’t have to talk about anything heavy right away, let’s keep it lite.”
    “Don’t you understand nothing is lite anymore? They were my family. I loved him and he’s gone,” I could tell that I had left her speechless. She was probably new at her job, a newbie put on the bad case for experience. No job experience, no husband, and no family. She had never done this before and didn’t know how to help me.
    “This isn’t the end of you. You survived. You have a heartbeat and are breathing. If you have those two things, you have a world of possibilities and a chance. With them you can do anything and it will get better.”
    “I don’t care if my heart if beating. If he is not breathing I don’t matter, I’m not breathing,” I closed my eyes and tried to keep myself in the room with her and not giving in to the numbness completely. It would be perfect to just give in and not feel, but that’s not would they would’ve wanted me to do, but I am not going to tell the stranger this. She has no right to know my business.
    “Here, I am going to give you this,” she said handing me an empty moleskin note book, “Write in it, your feelings, poems, songs, letters, I don’t care. You are going to need somebody to talk to, even if you don’t talk to anybody about it. I am not going to read it I’m not even going to look at it.”
    I took the notebook even though it was a ridiculous notion. I thought that it would have been nice to have somebody to talk to. I don’t know how she knew that I wrote songs though. Maybe the newspaper for a concert or a benefit she stopped in at, I have done a lot of those in the past fifteen years as a pianist. I wondered if I could get my mother to bring my keyboard. I was sure that the distinct hum of the keys would make the throbbing in my head stop and the numbness lessen.
    As I was thinking this the doctor came in to talk about my brain scans. He said that the hemorrhage had not started up again and this was a good sign but we were not sure yet. He said that we would keep monitoring it. So I would have to go back into the death trap machine. He said that I was probably weak on one side of my body and my legs, I wouldn’t have known because I haven’t really moved. My speech might have been affected also. I would also need some facial reconstruction to fix the broken nose and cheek bone. The scars would need more surgery to get rid of but I was thinking of not doing it, I could always cover them with makeup. I asked him about my keyboard and he thought it might help me.

  15. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    February 28, 2013 7:49pm UTC
    Hey guys!
    I have a survey for you!
    Would you rather have:
    Hot chocolate cupcakes with melted marshmellow for frosting,
    Cherry coke Float cupcakes
    Cinnimon toast crunch cupcakes,
    or oreo cupcakes made to look like owls?

  16. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    February 28, 2013 4:58pm UTC
    Depression
    Depression is looking in the mirror and seeing the truth
    and yet not recognizing the face.
    looking at everybody that is happy
    and thinking 'why can't that be me'
    hearing your laugh and having it seem fake to even you
    feeling nothing but the pain.

  17. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    February 25, 2013 5:31pm UTC
    Just breath
    and listen to the beating of your heart

  18. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    February 25, 2013 5:26pm UTC
    Ice
    January Tenth
    Twelve p.m.
    The doctor told me that if I was facing forward when the car had crashed, I probably would have been dead. Because I was turned right towards the back of the car I had hit my head on the window instead of the dashboard. My brain crashed into my skull as my skull hit the window and my brain started to bleed. The doctor had stopped the bleeding and after being in a coma for six days I woke up.
    The first thing I had asked was how they were, but the doctors told me the police were going to come in in a while to talk to me. They said that they were going to make sure I was okay first. I said that I didn’t care if I was okay if they weren’t because she was my best friend and he was my fiancé. Then I refused to let them touch me until I knew what was happening with them. After that the police came in.
    I didn’t know what to say. My body and mind had numbed and everything was kind of tingly. I let myself breathe in and out for a few minutes before I screamed. I was screaming as loud as I could in my hospital room. I continued for minutes straight, until my face was red and my lungs were empty. I screamed until I was dizzy. I screamed until the doctors came in and kicked the police officer out of my room and they sedated me.
    Three p.m.
    I had woken up again with a pounding headache and a broken heart. The first thing I did when I woke up was look for the ring he gave me. It was very simple, mostly because we were still in high school and didn’t have any money but also because our love was enough for us so there was no need to have a fancy ring. When I saw that they had taken it off I almost started to hyperventilate. If he was really gone then it would be all I had of him left. Instead of accidently making myself pass out I screamed again. I would have continued like I did before but then they would have sedated me again and my head was sending shooting pains throughout my body.
    The doctor and a policewoman ran into the room and asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t bring my voice above a whisper as I said that my ring was missing. They brought my attention to box of the things that were on me when the car crashed. On top of the box was my ring. I pulled the box closer so I could put it on and see what else was in it. Inside was my wallet, my clothes, shoes, my bag, my necklace, earrings, nose ring, back pack and make-up bag. I put the ring on and brought it to my eyes. Again my body went numb as I thought that they were gone and I struggled to keep my mind in place.
    The doctor started to check the machines I was connected too and rudely shone a light in my eyes. She deemed I was okay for now but she needed to do further tests to make sure the bleeding hadn’t caused any damage and that it had stopped completely. He left with a warning for the policewoman to not cause me any stress and to not get me excited. The policewoman had come over to the bed and was talking to me in a slow voice. I listened with slight interest.
    “Where are my parents? Did you call them?” I asked her with my voice still low to keep the pain away.
    “We did call them and they said they were going to get on the next plane home and would be here in a couple of days. Your friend’s families are interested in you though. They are all in the lobby waiting for you to wake up so they could come in.”
    “I don’t want to see them.”

  19. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    February 23, 2013 5:29pm UTC
    I want to have a little book shop,
    That is half books half general store type
    With shelves and shelves of books around three sides of the store
    that go all the way up to the cieling
    and rollling latters to reach to the top
    and on the other side there willl be a bakery
    with cookies and cupcakes and birthday cakes to buy
    and coffee and hotchoclate for the winter
    and ice cream and lemonaide for the summer
    and in the middle of the store will be a kids section
    with little bookshelfs and dolls and a place for kids to be droped off
    while there parents shop
    it will be in a little town where every one know everyone
    and outside the story will be a big winding porch were people can sit and read
    on the second floor will just be a teenage book second
    with a coffee shop and music and chairs
    and I would have dances there on the weekends
    and it would be perfect <3

  20. NeonFlower7 NeonFlower7
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 5:07pm UTC
    Ice
    Prologue
    At seven ten on the fourth of January, she left her house for mine. She reached my house at seven thirteen. I left my house with a pile of bags and got into her car. We did what we did every morning. We said the ‘hellos’ and the ‘how are you’s even though we had seen each other last night and had been texting each other all morning. At seven seventeen we pulled into the drive through at the Starbucks down the road and got the same thing that we usually get, two large vanilla spice lattes for us and a large hot coffee with extra cream and sugar for my boyfriend. We left the coffee shop at seven twenty. We reached his house at seven twenty five to pick him up. He got in the car said hi to her and kissed me hello. I was turned around to talk to him when we hit a piece of ice. Her old car’s wheels and steering wheel had locked and at exactly seven thirty a.m. her car went sliding into a tree.

:)

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