I thought Cameron loved me. I
guess I was wrong. I was so heartbroken. It wasn't
because I lost Cameron. I didn't care about him anymore
because he was a jerk. It was the thought that he was just
using me...he didn't care about me at all. There's
nothing more that I hate than a liar. It kills me. That's
all he was...a liar. He told me he loved me and I was all he
thought about. Yeah, thought about getting into my pants. I
felt useless, lifeless. Like nobody loved me or cared about
me. Nor ever would. So why was I here? If I was just going to
be played, used, and lied to. I wasn't important to
anyone. I felt stupid. Was this my fault? Why wasn't I
good enough for him? I just wanted the pain to go away. I
knew Mikey would cut. I was totally against it but he said it
helped him. Maybe it would help me too. So I picked up a
blade and pressed it against my skin...cut. Blood started
dripping from my wrist. I started panicing. What did I just
do? Why would I purposely injure myself? I'm an idiot.
Stop the bleeding! I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my
wrist. The bleeding stopped. I was so overwhelmed. I cried
and cried until I eventually fell asleep. I promised myself I
would never do it again. But I was wrong. It was only the
beginning. The next morning, I felt so weak. I couldn't
get out of bed. I finally got up, put on my makeup and my
fake smile and off to school. Nobody knew what I did. Nobody
could tell that behind my smile, there was a soul that was
really hurting. I didn't want anyone to know. I was the
girl that was always smiling. Who was friends with everyone.
Always is laughing and joking around. Easy to talk to, good
with advice. Nobody would expect me to be depressed. Maybe
that's why I was so good at hiding it.
*I'm not encouraging anyone to cut. Please don't.
It's a horrible addiction. Also, if you're feeling
depressed, always talk to someone about it . You're all
beautiful. Thankyou, loves*
<3
