I'm still here.
I wrote the letters and laid them out where they would be found; I placed my hand drawing with the word 'HELP' on the end of my bed where it too could be found; I chose and started to execute the method I thought best- suffocation.
I started to, and I was waiting for it to end... 'it won't take long' I kept telling myself. 'It will be over soon.' But I couldn't do it. My stupid mind wouldn't let me do it. I was suffocating when my mind started playing scenes of my life over and over again. Times with my friends, before the group fell apart, times with him, when he and I were close, him telling me how much it would hurt him if I did kill myself. So thanks to my stupid stupid mind I'm still here. I'm yet to work out if it's good or bad...