Dear Mom ;
   It's only been 5 days but it feels like months , I woke up this morning and could almost hear your voice and smell your coffee , the realization that I was alone hit me instantly and I cried , I feel like I killed you & Abby and its something ill never be able to forgive myself for , I can't believe I was so selfish ..
 When something like this happens your best friend is there to help you through it all but by allowing you to drive I took her life too , I've thought about taking my own but I know that's not what you would want & I know by doing that it wouldn't make a difference and I couldn't bring either of you back .
I've had alot of phone calls I know alot of people are worried about me but im just not ready to face anyone.
I opened up a bottle of vodka last night and drank it straight then laid in bed and thought about ending it all , how do I live without you two girls ?
god only takes the greatest and maybe thats why I cant bring myself to go with you.
Im so sorry , I lovee you & misss you so very much .
Heaven needed some angels and I hope your watching down on me .
Give my beautiful Abby a kiss for me <3