let me tell you something about lord voldemort. we were best friends in middle school. i know right, it's soo embarrassing. i don't even...whatever. so then in eighth grade i started going out with my first boyfriend harry potter, who was totalllly gorgeous but then he went to hogwarts. and voldemort was like, weirdly jealous of him. like if i would blow him off to hang out with harry, he'd be like "why didn't you call me back?!" and id be like, "uh, why are you so obsessed with me?" so then for my birthday party, which was an all wizards pool party, i was like, "Voldemort, i cant invite you because i think you're evil" i mean, i couldn't have an evil wizard at my party! there were going to be wizards there in their bathing suits! i mean right, he was evil! so then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her and it was so retarded and then he dropped out of school cause no one would talk to him and he came back in the fall and his nose was gone, and he was totally evil and now i guess he's trying to kill harry.