5. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?'

6. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
7. Move Caution: Wet Floor signs to carpeted areas.
8. Tune all the radios to a polka station - then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
9. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares,and see what happens.