Baby,
I just want to say thank you so much. Thank you for the tears, and the laughs. The smiles, and the lies. When the truth began to blurr, the drugs came to take you over. Thank you for making me cut my wrists. Thank you for begging me to stop. Thank you for the many months I spent missing you. Thank you for the wasted time. Thank you for hurting me. You taught me that not matter how much it hurts, time will heal it. Thank you for at least telling me that you loved me the day before you left us. Thank you for still doing the drugs; you taught me I might have to accept life and people as they are. Thank you for the pain, the saddness, and the way you made me cry.I just want you to know, you'll always be apart of my life. You broke my heart, every day and night, as I lie there in bed, wondering if you were going to be there on Monday. I want you to know that Mr. Mascra was worried about you, he asked me if I had heard from you everyday. He kept me up to date with whatever he could find out. He was the one who assured me you must be safe, yet still I worried. I want you to know, that we all did care. You thought no one did, but we were all there. I want you to know, I think about you every day. Every time someone brings you up, I have to fight back the tears. Late at night, I dream about you, and us. The time we spent together, at the rope swing. The way I almost gave you my virginity. You should know that by now, I love you, and you'll always be apart of my heart. Maybe one day, I'll send you all the notes I wrote you from January to now, because I still write them. Maybe someday, I'll pass you by on the streets, maybe you'll be better. I'll probably be sad. I'm usually good at keeping unhappy memories away from me, but with you, I just can't. This all hurts; the way we ended up, the way we used to believe in eachother, the way we used to believe in love. I just want you to know, I would still give up anything to marry you, anything to kiss you. I'll cherish our last kiss while I still have it in my brain, Our last day we spent together, I'll never forget. I was always so scared that it would be our last good-bye; I'm glad we made it good. I'll never forget you, because you'll always be there, but for now, my darling, I'll lock you deep into my heart, and I'll try to push forward with tears in my eyes.
I'm in love with you, just remember that. You still own my heart, you should always know that.
Good-bye, my first true love, forever just couldn't last,
I love you so much,
so good-bye, my love,
I'll miss you while you're gone.
-the one who loves you most</3
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