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Status: it's been a while

Member Since: 27 Sep 2012 09:35am

Last Seen: 24 Jun 2020 02:50pm

Birthday: February 12

Location: Pluto

Gender: M

user id: 332267

39 Favorites
25 Following
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putting the try in poetry. 
passionately curious. 
1° 17′ N.  lost. 
dihydrogen monoxide connoisseur, asmr junkie,
maladaptive coping mechanism tester, deteriorating mess,
hoe for Pluto etc.
evidently horrible at introductions. 

   say hi?   

poetry: messagestoanonymous

other picturesque melancholy: textisdead

@cloudstains / @glennunedited


I love you, H. 

"when even to exist seems a victory, then surely our luck has run thin" -- Charles Bukowski

  1. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    January 18, 2019 8:48am UTC
    22 December 2018
    I imagined my mind knowing better felt
    my viscera quiver. the birds get startled
    into flight though always round-trip.
    it’s good to be home alone not that you would
    if I had anything to do about it but
    we make do. life sucks
    its thumb. you’re right where
    you’re meant to be. who’s to say blankets
    aren’t party dresses or that eyes
    can only wet in one way.
    gloveless in this eventide chill.
    luckily we aren’t parting thickets
    for interstices for clarity.
    I empathise with the trees that bend
    out of light’s way at least till rough
    limbs creep up gently
    against glass they refuse to crack.
    dirty bedroom window remains so. it treasures
    the head that rested on it oil and all pondering
    the ease with which we dance around naked intention.
    show me it’s possible to live and for quite a while
    without flowering a new wound.
    how lovely we are in our natural state.
    taste of raw tongue on my tongue waves
    fragile at our feet. we stay dipped long enough for
    our digits to grow old shrivel without
    fear. something once felt too cruel to endure.
    I would not have chosen to float
    if given the option. but now i’ll swim.

  2. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    December 29, 2017 8:22am UTC
    And maybe I'm lost, in a way that's never meant to be found.

  3. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    May 8, 2013 12:36pm UTC
    nostalgia is bittersweet and tonight i've just been completely immersed in it.
    hello. long time no see. how has everyone been?
    not like anyone cares, but i'm sadly still (physically) alive.
    self-serving rant. don't even bother.
    things have completely changed: no glimmer of hope i was clinging on to ever materialised. i am left even more alone than ever because of how much of a different person i've become; i don't blame anyone for it, most of the time it doesn't even matter -- this is just one of the rare times where i feel it really does. i haven't been feeling like a human at all. i spend most of my waking hours running around classes and to places i don't want to be in, all while being completely detached and half-asleep from a settled lethargy. from before the sun rises till well after the sun sets, every single f*cking day. i don't remember the last time i smiled. i don't remember the last time i felt like i had a good day. the fact that this is the life i've been forced into is only beginning to set in.
    feeling like a complete wreck has screwed with my emotions way too much. one moment i'm flaring up, cursing at everything and everyone, the next moment i'm just in pieces. either way, i'm completely consumed. there is nothing i feel like i'm really comfortable at and that i can find solace in. writing bad poetry has taken up most of my time and gotten my mind off my real life, but my imagination is running dry and i feel that i should just accept that i suck and stop writing/trying to do something i'm not meant to do.
    for the millionth time, everyone is sick of hearing about this whole situation. don't ask me what's wrong. this is what's wrong. i won't even bother to try and salvage this (anymore). i've tried to find a way out on my own, spent hours talking to people who know better than to just simplay say that things are going to be okay, etc. and the consensus was the same: i'm screwed and that's just how unfair life is.
    i myself am sick of having to talk about this but it's just something that's constantly nagging in my head because i'm living in it.
    i want to leave.

  4. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    March 1, 2013 7:39am UTC
    in a chance meeting with the lips that were
    the chaperone of your cotton mouth,
    i kindled a spark on the tip of my tongue
    with the sole intent of lighting the cotton;
    burning it with incendiary agility,
    that guides towards your clouded lungs.
    i never fathomed your psyche;
    and as it burned, it still refused
    to release you—clear as glass—
    to cry for mercy with the truth,
    instead preferring to asphyxiate
    in an obscurity that won’t dispel.

  5. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    February 26, 2013 7:32am UTC
    if ink flowed through my veins,
    then i already have you—
    all thoughts: said or unsaid,
    written down or not.
    omnipresent in every nook,
    filled to the brim;
    exhaustively fluent.
    kissing bugs may imbibe
    to their heart’s content
    through permeable susceptibility,
    but they’ll return every drop,
    injecting with a written apology.
    if i evaporate to vacuity,
    vapour will sprout
    up to the clouds and
    scribe them ink black
    to project your cursives.
    i become your language
    and this is forever.

  6. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    February 22, 2013 7:46am UTC
    we smash glass.
    in smithereens they scatter
    away from each other;
    a release of suppressed repulse.
    our triumphal celebration,
    hosted in rage, all just to prove
    that we’re destructive, (too).
    but in the end,
    we both still hold the crown
    of being the most destructed.

  7. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    February 17, 2013 9:27am UTC
    i ascend, harness uncinched.
    you peeled my fingers off.
    i love the fall, only because
    it’s to know i got so high.
    dislodged somatic bones;
    a puzzle that fell into place;
    intentions now clear.
    to know there is pain
    from this semblance of utopia
    is to say, i have experienced
    a subset of this immensity
    so insurmountable.
    all that lingers is enough.
    for now.

  8. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    February 16, 2013 8:12am UTC
    i am a secant.
    i cut you once;
    i came back to do it again.
    you sighed,
    but said it was alright
    and drew hearts with blood.
    less idealistic,
    more anatomically correct.
    “i am so sorry”
    the sea repeats after me in a monotone.
    i asked to be ferried out
    but i didn’t have a ticket.
    i wasn’t given one.
    and stolen tickets weren’t accepted.

  9. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    February 14, 2013 9:29am UTC
    i unstitched your cicatrices
    and pulled out the string of words.
    it was in a language i didn’t understand.
    you kissed me a lesson.

  10. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    February 11, 2013 11:03am UTC
    it is a per annum affair, that
    i wish for another gasp of air.
    but it seems this year,
    i’ve exceeded my credit limit.
    i am the collateral, seized.

  11. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    February 4, 2013 9:28pm UTC
    'a journey along your spine'
    tracing your scoliotic spine,
    hoping that i don’t lose you
    to the alternating hollow recesses,
    while meandering, navigating.
    a one lane. a two way.
    only two ends in sight.
    to your head or your hips?
    or to both, and also to
    the universe in between?
    not all destinations show.
    no cartographer has mapped
    this plentiful expanse in you.
    i humbly attempt your moon.
    craters spell revelation doom.

  12. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    February 2, 2013 7:45am UTC
    'relativity and reality'
    nightingales will traverse meridians
    in the aether of cerulean skies.
    nature’s ensemble of green expanse
    will play by the grand caprice
    of the breeze maestro.
    back over at our table,
    your douceur moderates my verve.
    our earl grey tea turns tepid;
    unsavoured because of chatter.
    i subsist on the words you utter
    in mere coquettish jest.
    in this evanescence, i achieve autarky.
    if only these things unfolded
    at the universe’s intended pace
    with the narration of time,
    instead of all just at an instant —
    and only in my moonstruck fantasies.

  13. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    January 31, 2013 9:04am UTC
    'a little while forever'
    your amorphous
    embraces in
    a fluid haste.
    you plead:
    don’t leave.
    be my viscous
    stay in.
    but underwater,
    it doesn’t

  14. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    January 26, 2013 11:47am UTC
    'ambrosial heart'
    my ambrosial heart worshiped your whims;
    now it lies wedged in between your teeth.
    this feast is packed with incisors of its own.
    fashioned with lexicons from the mortuary,
    toughened by rebirth, let’s grind to zilch.
    this vindictive sacrilege i have long sought.
    you reduced it back into its constituents;
    a defiled manifestation so structurally unsound.
    these fragments crushed asunder and spat,
    but it was well worth the now-orchestrated encore.
    on the cold, indifferent ground, pieces spell
    all your words, and the modus operandi of your perjuries.

  15. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    January 4, 2013 10:17am UTC
    beneath this cranium encrust
    is a pressure cooker
    where stress compounds
    with every day subtracted
    from the countdown
    to implosion.
    worn out
    from incessant considerations;
    materializing nightmares
    that torments my waking hours
    as much as it does when
    i am asleep.
    soul strained to its limits;
    haggard and gasping
    for answers like oxygen.
    lightless metres under,
    the end wrought
    by one single blunder.
    i am but only a teen.

  16. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    January 2, 2013 9:02am UTC
    'paper boats'
    i released paper boats
    pilgrimed by finite hopes
    fleetingly lightweight
    towards unexplored waters;
    hoping to see it reach your side
    when i do. (if i do)
    you grabbed a handful of pebbles
    and angled them towards the water,
    pelleting with malicious intent;
    hesitance evidently never crossed.
    the pebbles in chase;
    skip, skip, lickety-split.
    i could only clasp my hands and pray
    that you’d consider what i’ve brought
    before letting buoyancy claim its prey.
    “don’t get caught.”
    “don’t get caught.”
    “don’t get caught.”

  17. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2012 12:46am UTC
    click to see this quote

  18. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    December 23, 2012 1:08am UTC
    you pried
    like a
    minuscule syringe;
    my heart vaporized.
    on your contact,
    i skitter.
    flight response lost;
    staying by nature
    of the Leidenfrost effect.

  19. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    December 23, 2012 12:03am UTC
    'precipitated vagabond'
    in this perpetual, equatorial summer,
    the rain niveous.
    the rain like winter.
    raindrops dancing; taking centre stage
    under the warm yellow streetlights.
    a drifting figuration;
    a silhouette in the vacant street.
    pelted by pinpricks,
    oblivious to the dull sensation;
    thoughts mundivagant.
    as cold
    as the world
    has made you,
    in this wintry chill,
    you are in equilibrium.
    as many fires
    as the world
    has snuffed out,
    in this dark night,
    you are home.

  20. wearestarstuff wearestarstuff
    posted a quote
    November 29, 2012 10:10am UTC
    i am honestly sick of this shell i'm in and every association this 'shell' has ever formed with anything or anyone around. i never feel anything other than pure lethargy, dread and trepidation. i have no idea why i'm always this tired, i have no idea why i'm dreading the things which are supposed to be good; probably because i am too accustomed to the status quo. fear births from this dread – the fear of the unknown, the fear of having no control over the situations i'm going to be placed in, and most importantly the fear of not having a voice to take a stand.
    i see no purpose in anything because everything's just disappointing and pegged with fears of the unknown. it's so cowardly and pessimistic that i'm being like this but i am losing my zest for literally everything.
    my mind is running free and unrestrained and it's making me constantly sick at the thought of anything. i feel tired but can never fall asleep or get a good rest because my mind never goes blank even for a second, something is always running through my head. and when i do sleep, the dreams i get are never pleasant. everything i ever dream of are just horrible worse-case scenarios.
    it's tiring to appear happy, carefree and confident as i keep up in school and when talking to people. i've to constantly remind myself to not appear as a dead, perpetually grim person because that just scares people away, but at times i just feel that all the better because people are hard to interact with while having to put up a front.
    my shell's disgusting, and a sum of mistakes that will not stop haunting me. i want out.


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