† *
·
1 decade ago
Update.. wait.. Notify Me :) reply
Blue_Rose
·
1 decade ago
I like it ;] YOU BEST TO TELL ME WHEN YOU UPDATE GUUUURL, mhmmm! Sorry bout that x] Tell me when you do update though. Please? :D reply
priscillanicolejones
·
1 decade ago
This is REALLY good. Keep going..please? reply
SaturdayInJuly
·
1 decade ago
I really liked it! The characters seemed "real" to me and not fake/cheesy like some people write. Can't wait for the next chapter! Notify me?:) reply
sophsunflower12
·
1 decade ago
Okay, so, unfortunately you happened to spam a quote written by an opinionated, picky, precise writer--namely, me. Generally, the stories that I come across on Witty are badly written from a mechanical standpoint, lack originality, and make me want to weep for grammar. Anyways, I was actually pleasantly surprised by this. It wasn't bad. I do, however, have some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism that could, potentially, help you improve on writing in the future. Okay, so, firstly, comma placement. When you're addressing someone, there's always going to be a comma before and after their name. Ex: "Hi, Sophie, how are you?" Not: "Hi, Sophie how are you?" Kay. Secondly, quotes. You actually did pretty well on this particular notion, but I still saw some parts where the punctuation didn't connect the quote to the speaker correctly. Quotes are supposed to be written like this: "Hi," she said. Or: "Hi!" she said. But never: "Hi." she said. Mkay. With numbers like 2 and anything up to 10 it's customary to spell out fully. Ex: two, or ten. Aside from those minor things, this was a really good start to a story. Sorry about my rather intense review. I take writing VERY seriously. Ever checked out Wattpad.com? It's where I write. Nothing wrong with writing on Witty, but Wattpad just gives you more space to write longer chapters and stuff. Again, really strong plot line and beginning, keep going with this.
xx
-sophsunflower12 reply
ilovemartina
·
1 decade ago
surre! follow moi if ya want :) keep it up ur awsom at this :P
lost dreamer* · 1 decade ago
Notify pleaseee (:
reply
woahman · 1 decade ago
Notify :)
reply
woahman · 1 decade ago
Notify :)
reply
ilovemartina · 1 decade ago
i love it ur a good wrighter :) very good
reply
SaturdayInJuly · 1 decade ago
Awww that was so cute<3
reply
ilovemartina · 1 decade ago
let me know eyy :):)
reply
gotmyguardianangelx · 1 decade ago
that wasn't even her british accent. look @ her on Jonathon ross (I think It is). THAT's her british accent.
reply
ilovemartina · 1 decade ago
Love it keep goiin:):)
reply
woahman · 1 decade ago
Notify? :)
reply
† * · 1 decade ago
Update.. wait.. Notify Me :)
reply
Blue_Rose · 1 decade ago
I like it ;] YOU BEST TO TELL ME WHEN YOU UPDATE GUUUURL, mhmmm! Sorry bout that x] Tell me when you do update though. Please? :D
reply
priscillanicolejones · 1 decade ago
This is REALLY good. Keep going..please?
reply
SaturdayInJuly · 1 decade ago
I really liked it! The characters seemed "real" to me and not fake/cheesy like some people write. Can't wait for the next chapter! Notify me?:)
reply
peacelovelax13 · 1 decade ago
RO PO HOE ANTHEM
reply
savinglauren · 1 decade ago
I do(:
reply
crustacea0305 · 1 decade ago
awww ilysm <3 I really like the plot behind the story :)
reply
KaylaJolynn · 1 decade ago
@KaylaJoLynn whats urs?
reply
lolliesandrainbows · 1 decade ago
wow that was great
reply
sophsunflower12 · 1 decade ago
Okay, so, unfortunately you happened to spam a quote written by an opinionated, picky, precise writer--namely, me. Generally, the stories that I come across on Witty are badly written from a mechanical standpoint, lack originality, and make me want to weep for grammar. Anyways, I was actually pleasantly surprised by this. It wasn't bad. I do, however, have some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism that could, potentially, help you improve on writing in the future. Okay, so, firstly, comma placement. When you're addressing someone, there's always going to be a comma before and after their name. Ex: "Hi, Sophie, how are you?" Not: "Hi, Sophie how are you?" Kay. Secondly, quotes. You actually did pretty well on this particular notion, but I still saw some parts where the punctuation didn't connect the quote to the speaker correctly. Quotes are supposed to be written like this: "Hi," she said. Or: "Hi!" she said. But never: "Hi." she said. Mkay. With numbers like 2 and anything up to 10 it's customary to spell out fully. Ex: two, or ten. Aside from those minor things, this was a really good start to a story. Sorry about my rather intense review. I take writing VERY seriously. Ever checked out Wattpad.com? It's where I write. Nothing wrong with writing on Witty, but Wattpad just gives you more space to write longer chapters and stuff. Again, really strong plot line and beginning, keep going with this.
xx
-sophsunflower12
reply
ilovemartina · 1 decade ago
surre! follow moi if ya want :) keep it up ur awsom at this :P
reply