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stupidfunnyjokes

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Member Since: 9 May 2011 10:27pm

Last Seen: 20 Nov 2011 09:56pm

user id: 172937

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Stupid Funny Joke #
  1. stupidfunnyjokes stupidfunnyjokes
    posted a quote
    May 9, 2011 11:09pm UTC
    Stupid Funny Joke #4
    EVER WONDER...
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
    Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
    Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
    Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
    Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
    Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
    Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food? who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
    Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
    Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
    Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

  2. stupidfunnyjokes stupidfunnyjokes
    posted a quote
    May 9, 2011 10:53pm UTC
    Stupid Funny Joke #4
    What's the definition of a will?
    It's a dead giveaway.

  3. stupidfunnyjokes stupidfunnyjokes
    posted a quote
    May 9, 2011 10:44pm UTC
    Stupid Funny Joke #3
    A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
    The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
    So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
    The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
    They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
    They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
    On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
    There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

  4. stupidfunnyjokes stupidfunnyjokes
    posted a quote
    May 9, 2011 10:36pm UTC
    Stupid Funny Joke #2
    Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
    The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

  5. stupidfunnyjokes stupidfunnyjokes
    posted a quote
    May 9, 2011 10:30pm UTC
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:)

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