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  1. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    June 1, 2013 4:37pm UTC
    why is it okay for dogs to poop in public but when i do it someone calls the cops

  2. skulthelasttribute skulthelasttribute
    posted a quote
    May 28, 2013 5:30am UTC
    Open your eyes
    Like i opened mine
    Its only the
    Real
    World
    -Paramore, careful

  3. gucci prince* gucci prince*
    posted a quote
    May 29, 2013 8:28am UTC
    Me: *Eats all the pizza*
    Mom: You can't eat all of that.
    Me: *Buys my favorite dress*
    Mom: Don't buy that.
    Me: *Plays video games*
    Mom: Time for school.
    Look how picky parents are...

  4. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    May 29, 2013 4:02pm UTC
    In hockey, you don't say "I love you." You say, "You dipsh.ts better score
    on this power play or so help me." which roughly translates to, "You motherf.ckers, shoot the god damn puck." and I think that's beautiful.

  5. kelly* kelly*
    posted a quote
    May 28, 2013 4:48am UTC
    "Be nice to everyone, always smile and appreciate things because it could all be gone tomorrow."
    -Ed Sheeran

  6. VioletOceanEyes VioletOceanEyes
    posted a quote
    June 17, 2012 12:49pm UTC
    Now while I think of something Inspriational
    This other Sh*tty quote will get 685 favs
    :D

  7. Cammie Cammie
    posted a quote
    May 26, 2013 7:04pm UTC
    I automatically dislike anyone with my name
    because it feels like a competition and let’s be honest you're not winning that.

  8. Cammie Cammie
    posted a quote
    May 26, 2013 7:29pm UTC
    Saw a guy walking by himself and not looking down at his phone.
    What a weirdo.

  9. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    May 26, 2013 3:19pm UTC
    witty has given me the worst sense of humor ever i’m so screwed for school
    like if some student catches on fire and dies i’ll probably burst into laughter


  10. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  11. cupcake1012 cupcake1012
    posted a quote
    May 14, 2013 2:24pm UTC
    There are only four questions. Can you get one right?  
    1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?  
    Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.  
    The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.    
      2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
    Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
    Wrong answer.  
    Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions..
          3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend .... Except one. Which animal does not attend?  
    Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.      
    4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
      Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

  12. missmeltdown missmeltdown
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2012 10:46am UTC
    normal people on weekends: *calls friends* let's hang out today!me on weekends: Silly Sokka, Appa didn't eat Momo.

  13. 永久* 永久*
    posted a quote
    April 4, 2013 12:15am UTC
    DRAMA NEEDS SOME CONTROLLING
    Some of you really need to stop drama about gay marriage and God. I understand you can put up your opinions here but guess what, you are causing SO much drama. If Steve gets sick of this, or if Google AdSense comes to know about the cráp going on here, WITTY CAN SHUT DOWN. I bet none of you want that (except for the haters and drama-creators) Witty is not a place to argue if God is real, everyone has different opinions and you cannot change us. Infact you have no right to. God does exist for people who believe and have faith in him. Athiests, you will realise that one day but I seriously don't care if you don't agree. Just shut the fúck up and stop creating drama. GET BACK THE REAL QUOTES, NOT THE DRAMA QUOTES which rule the top quotes with so many comments. They don't make any sense to me, they're just top quotes because of their comments. Hey what if all this drama is happening for comments because the author wants to be Witty-famous and thinks he/she can never get into the top quotes with faves so needs comments? WELL, STOP IT. You won't be Witty-famous, you'll be Witty-drama-famous!! Come back, ThatsSoMeee, BravoSierra, YourCool, Rajsonkar, Eli22b, CharliesTheName, Hale_Storm and everybody!!
    To DividedByZero: GOD DOES EXIST for me and other believers, probably not for you so please, keep that to yourself :D

  14. music_is_forever1 music_is_forever1
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2012 5:41pm UTC
    DRINK CACTUS JUICE!
    It'll quench ya!
    Nothing's quenchier!
    IT'S THE QUENCHIEST!! ♥
    -Sokka, AtLA
    nmf

  15. music_is_forever1 music_is_forever1
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2012 8:34pm UTC
    leaves from the vine
    falling so slow
    like fragil, tiny shells
    drifting from the foam
    little soldier boy
    come marching home
    brave soldier boy
    comes marching home ♥
    -Iroh's song, AtLA
    Format: twilightgirl995

  16. music_is_forever1 music_is_forever1
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2012 8:38pm UTC
    i don't care what i look like.
    i'm not looking for anyone's approval.
    i know who i am.
    -Toph, AtLA
    /Format: twilightgirl995

  17. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    May 16, 2013 8:57pm UTC
    this guy
    at my school shows up every day with like a fake wolf tail clipped to his back belt loop, and I always see him running from class to class and jumping over things and he looks so happy to exist and sometimes he brings a lil wolf puppet with him and he makes it run along next to him on the strings
    I’m just like u go wolf kid live ur dreams
    f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 n m q!

  18. AmyCakesAngel AmyCakesAngel
    posted a quote
    May 8, 2013 6:44pm UTC
    Me: Fish gotta fly, birds gotta swim... Wait... No...
    Me: Damn! That would be so cool!

  19. Acacicat Acacicat
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2013 9:00pm UTC
    Well, despite the fact that I am heart broken and want someone to talk to, Doctor Who and Harry Potter are here for me.
    (And witty too)

  20. batmancupcake57girl batmancupcake57girl
    posted a quote
    May 11, 2013 4:47pm UTC
    Potter is all gone,
    But the Games are just beginning,
    And the Time Lord not yet won,
    The battle against evil,
    Or is that Sherlock’s job?
    Potter’s time may of finished,
    But the fandom will stand strong.
    Doctor Who has lost some friends,
    But a new one he will find,
    Sherlock, we will have to wait,
    In the palace of our mind,
    The Hunger Games have started,
    The Quarter Quell wont stop,
    And as for the others,
    Tick Tock, its a clock.
    So next time you’re feeling down,
    Smile to yourself and say,
    If your favourite hero wont be around,
    The fandom will always stay.

:)

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