i think i'm in love with him.
[i know it's long, but please, please read]
[ple[i never thought i'd ever say that. see, we met in the eighth grade in orchestra because I play
the violin, and he plays the cello. He was always so good at it, whereas, I was never even close.
he used to criticize me and the other second violins because we weren't good, and we couldn't
play in tune. I used to give him dirty looks, and i always held it against him. That is---until the first
day of our freshman year. Of course, we had orchestra together, but this time, when he walked
through the door, it was like I'd never seen him before in my life. He was so handsome and funny,
and that day, i felt feelings for him that have never faded since that september morning.in the next
few months, our friendship would grow strong, he hugged me at 'districts' auditions a lot because
i was so nervous beyond belief. he used to flirt with me, and smile at me in class, and he used to
talk to me. All until I told a girl on my basketball team ---who i thought i could trust---that, yes, i liked
him. later that january day, (according to my best friend) she went into their physics class and told him.
her: hey, austin! I know someone who likes you.
him: really? who?
her: it's sarah, but I wouldn't be too proud of it.
...and after that, things were never the same.
He called me out on facebook, and I freaked out. I didn't know how to handle being around him anymore. I made many mistakes, and so did he, causing us to plunge into a hateful, but passionate
relationship. We'd shoot harmful words at each other like we were machine guns, locked and
loaded. He flirted with one of my closest friends. I wrote song after song about him---since i'm a songwriter. On april fools day that year, he'd called me pretty, and then said "april fools! you're still ugly!" and even though i told myself it didn't matter, I repeatedly cried myself to sleep over him. After april fools day, we stopped talking, and I hated that more than the insults. On the last day of school, my best friend Erinne and I skipped gym class to go up into the orchestra storage room and she was my shoulder to cry on as I wrote him a letter, saying how I don't hate him, and how I want to be friends with him, and many other things. I stuffed it in his cello case on June 10, 2010, and we left for finals and summer vacation, and I didn't see him until September, when I'd assumed he'd read the letter. October came, and Erinne and I checked his cello case, and the letter was there. Untouched for five months. I felt both
relieved and hurt by this. He was still tip-toeing around me, but it wasn't as bad as last year, and we'd
said hi to each other a few times at least... but that wasn't enough for me. In February, I asked hi if he hated me, and he looked all surprised and said "No!" So from then on we were "friends."
He still didn't return my texts, or my ims, when I'd occasionally send them. But sometimes he'd compliment me on things, and once, he ruffled my hair when he came into the storage room. in arch we went to symphony hall, and i caught him staring at me. On the three hour bus ride, i heard him say that he wanted someone to tell him that they liked him, and if i'm not delusional, i thought he glanced at me. i wrote him tons of love songs that year, and i even played one for the school at a pep rally talent contest that i had written for him. part of the chorus was: "All I do is think about you all the time, it's like a disease of the mind." after i won, he congratulated me, and i wished he'd ask me who i'd written it about. I want to tell him. I want to be best friends with him. I want to be the one who he loves.
please fave if you think that I should tell him this.
thank you witty girls (and guys now too i guess?) i deeply appreciate this! sorry its so long!
sarahliz