Well. I don't really know where to begin.
This past year I was really good friends with these girls. Let's call them Debra, Sarah, Kathy, Alexandra, and Ingrid. We were pretty much best friends and never did anything apart.
Well, most of us. Most of the time, they all hung out together and I tried my best to fit in with them.
I was thought of last. They would go to dinner, the movies, arcade, and all these adventures together while I sat at home and stared at a wall.
I was so sick of being alone, being left out, so I took a stand. I told one of my other friends, "Kara" about it. She told me exactly what I was thinking: to stand up for myself.
So I told Ingrid, who's kind of their ring leader that I was tired of being left out all the time. She immediately apologized and said that "everything would change".
I felt like everything was finally okay and I texted Kara, elated with the news. But she told me to look at an email Debra sent before I made any final decisions. Debra was no longer as good of friend with the other girls, so I hesitantly decided to read the email.
MY heart shattered.
My "BEST FRIENDS" had been talking sh/t about me the WHOLE time. They mocked me.
They mocked my poetry, something I use to take pride in. My poetry was a way for me to let out my feelings in a way nothing else could. Writing was my purest form of emotion, and they ridiculed it.
Now I can barely write this.
They teased me about how I was overprotective of my brothers and the things they said about them. They called me names and all the while, I thought we got along absolutely great.
In the two minutes it took to read that horrible email, I was completely broken. Shattered.
My trust: BROKEN.
My heart: shattered, torn apart.
All I could do was run back to my room and sob, and sob into a pillow til two in the morning. I had to go to school the next morning and seeing them all together just... killed me. I ran to the bathroom almost every period to sob in the last stall. I remember it like it was yesterday. And then a few days later after collasping into tears randomly, I had completely changed.
Kara who was there for me, started to drift away as well. I had no one. No one would text me, or call me, or even care if I was still breathing. I was so mad at myself. I was such an idiot. My poetry was stupid. My brothers didn't care if I protected them or not.
And that's when it started.
At first it was small. In school if I did something or said something stupid, I dug my fingernails into my arm, sometimes drawing blood. I read online about a girl who burned her skin with a pencil eraser. I started doing that too. It scared me, because it felt good. But it still was painful to go to school, to look in the mirror, to get out of bed. I was shattered.
And then something hit me. I had known about one direction for awhile and I was a fan and whatnot, but I became steadily more interested. They were legitamately the only thing that could make me laugh on some days. And one day, when I was reading a fan tumblr, I saw that harry was in an artist's music video. Someone by the name of ed sheeran.
I looked it up on youtube, interested. And the most beautiful, angelic voice I've ever heard in my life flooded out the speakers. It was love at first sound. Ed sheeran, my greatest love in the world. At that moment when drunk came on and started playing, I became immune to the burns on my wrist. And before I coul;d even make one cut on myself, I had found an anchor.
It wasn't drunk that was the epiphany. It was the A team. I can honestly say, it was the song that saved my life. Everytime I thought about harming myself I sang a verse of the A team. Everytime I heard those b/tches laughing in class, I hummed the chorus. It is honestly the most amazing thing I have EVER heard. This song was my everything. I scribbled its lyrics over everything and anything.
And now I see that without my little fascination with one direction, I would have never found ed sheeran in time.
Nobody really understands how fate works. It's funny how if I scrolled past that little post on some random girl's tumblr, I could be dead.
And now, I am seeing Ed sheeran in concert. MY guradian angel, the one who saved my life, I will be hearing live. It's still too much to handle.
A BIG THANK YOU to those girls who stabbed me in the back and practically ruined my life, you led me to one direction, who led me to my angel.
-Grace :)
(maybe not as related to one direction or as interesting as the others, sorry about that, but it still means the world to me)
@GraceWeasley
movinatthespeedoflove17