Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

likemysquirrel

  1. YoullMakeIt YoullMakeIt
    posted a quote
    January 16, 2012 9:09pm UTC
    all polar bears are left handed, 10% of people who steal cars are left handed. So when your car is stolen there is a 10% chance that it was a polar bear

  2. _Hey_Bro_ _Hey_Bro_
    posted a quote
    January 12, 2012 9:14pm UTC
    I don't play to
    "get even."
    i play to win.

  3. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    January 13, 2012 4:48pm UTC
    ➫ ⇡ ➶ ↴
    I'm never sure
    What to do with my e y e s when I'm at the dentist.
    Do I close them?
    Do I stare at his face?
    Do I look at the ceiling?
    What's the proper etiquette here?
    jimmy365:)
    nmq/ ^my format:)

  4. theunicorn theunicorn
    posted a quote
    January 12, 2012 10:06pm UTC
    OR YOU CAN PASS ME IN THE HALLS
    &pretend i dont exsist
    that's cool too.
    -____-

  5. hermione23katniss hermione23katniss
    posted a quote
    January 12, 2012 7:34pm UTC
    That awkward moment
    when you're answering a test question and the
    answer is so obvious, you actually doubt yourself.

  6. YouWillNeverKnowHowIFeel YouWillNeverKnowHowIFeel
    posted a quote
    January 11, 2012 9:44pm UTC
    If you never jumped from one couch to another
    to save yourself from a shark or the lava;
    Then you did not have a childhood.♦

  7. togetherbulletsforever togetherbulletsforever
    posted a quote
    January 11, 2012 8:50pm UTC
    I will stop Loving you
    when a mute guy
    tells a deaf guy
    that a blind guy
    saw a legless guy
    walk across water.

  8. SheWasOnceIt SheWasOnceIt
    posted a quote
    January 12, 2012 11:37am UTC
    Everytime she laughs she also hopes that he is watching. Not so he see's that shes happy but so maybe, just maybe he'll fall for her smile Like she fell for his.

  9. nutmegx97 nutmegx97
    posted a quote
    January 11, 2012 7:47pm UTC
    & I finally figured out why
    they make a white crayon ;
    So I could write
    'his' name
    all over my papers,
    and no one would ever know.

  10. FunZy0x4 FunZy0x4
    posted a quote
    January 11, 2012 8:21pm UTC
    Boy: Is your mom a baker?
    Girl: No, why do you ask?
    Boy: Cause she sure did make a cutie pie. ♥

  11. PowerOfThree PowerOfThree
    posted a quote
    January 11, 2012 9:01pm UTC
    Charmed Quote #85
    Wizard: Please tell me Merlin isn't the only Wizard
    you've ever heard of!
    Paige: Well, does Harry Potter count?

  12. PowerOfThree PowerOfThree
    posted a quote
    January 7, 2012 11:39pm UTC
    Charmed Quote #19
    Phoebe: Good people do not turn other people
    into water coolers.

  13. PowerOfThree PowerOfThree
    posted a quote
    January 8, 2012 12:05am UTC
    Charmed Quote #27
    Phoebe: Are you making spahetti sauce?
    Piper: No, that's demon blood.

  14. soccerloverx03x soccerloverx03x
    posted a quote
    January 7, 2012 4:03pm UTC
    Cop: When is your birthday?
    Me: April 20th
    Cop: What year?
    Me: Every year.
    Cop: Well played.....
    lol fav if you get it:)

  15. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    January 7, 2012 12:23pm UTC
    The awkward moment
    when you notice that someone's zipper is down.
    but you don't know if you should tell them because you can't explain why you were looking that low.
    format by: ThatsSoMeee :)
    jimmy365

  16. Yuri Yuri
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2011 8:09pm UTC
    stopping the microwave at 1 second
    and feeling like a bomb defuser

  17. ColorMyWorld401 ColorMyWorld401 happy witty anniversary!
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2011 10:12am UTC
    I hate when its dark and my brain is like ,
    " Hey you know what we haven't thought
    of in a while?
    MONSTERS."
    Credit: FaveFormats

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles