isabeltheosm's Quotes

isabeltheosm
posted a quote
April 1, 2013 7:29am UTC

Aunt: You don't have to go to preschool on thursday!
Cousin: Why not?
Aunt: It's tomb-sweeping day!
Cousin: Cool! Do I have to get you guys a present?
Aunt: er... no.
Let's just let that sink in for a while.
btw, tomb sweeping day is when you visit your dead ancestors and sweep their tomb and give them flowers, some people burn presents.

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 31, 2013 10:00pm UTC

teacher: And at the Student led confrence you will talk about new friends you made this year and other social achievements.
me: wait, what social achievements? I'm screwed.

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 31, 2013 9:33pm UTC

Talking to a five year old
5 year-old: And I have five boyfriends, Carter, Brandon, Bobby, Matthew, and Alex!
me: wow, that's a lot.
5 year-old: I guess, but Carter has seven girlfriends. But that's okay, he said he loved me the most!!
me: Well, sometimes boys lie to us.
5 year-old: It's okay, I trust Carter, so do you have a boyfriend?
me: er...
5 year-old: oh, it's okay, I'm sure you'll find one oneday!
#foreveralone

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 28, 2013 1:13am UTC

Yesturday...
cousin (He's 3): *playing iPad*
me: You can't play the iPad
cousin: Why not?
me: It's bad for your eyes.
cousin: So?
Me: then, you'll turn blind and the girls won't chase you and then you'll live in the middle of the woods by yourself with 67 cats.
cousin: oh.
Today...
brother: *playing iPad*
cousin: you can't play the iPad!
brother: ...why not?
cousin: You'll end up living in the woods with 67 cats!!

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 27, 2013 9:45pm UTC

You told me you loved me so why did you go?

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 26, 2013 4:46am UTC

Friend: My great-something grandmother is Marth Washington's sister
Best Friend: OMG! That is so cool, so if you count marriges you are related to George Washington.
Friend: Yeah...
Best Friend: George Washington was amazing, he is the founding father of America!! He has done so much for my country!! *wipes fake tear*
Everyone: You're Chinese...

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 24, 2013 2:38am UTC

Friend 1: I hate sprinting
Friend 2: I hate long distance
Me: I don't like running, period.

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 6, 2013 5:09am UTC

me and bff: *starts singing*
teacher: you guys sing great!!
us: awww thanks!!
teacher: im sorry guys, i shouldnt have used sarcasm. sorry.

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 10:46pm UTC

JuJu: Did you know that if you touch somone's bellybutton for ten seconds it is considered r@pe?
Everyone: ... Where do you learn this stuff?
JuJu: I have my sources, so did you know I r@ped all of my friends and i have been r@ped like 10 times?
JuJu: *reaches for closest person's bellybutton*
Person: Get off of me!!!
juJu: Stop! I want to r@pe you!!

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 1:40am UTC

► The Laughter ▌▌ The Memories █▌ The Pain ◄◄ The Happiness

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 1:27am UTC

Swim Class
Grace: Johnny (our swim coach), I have a present for you!!
Grace: *holds up huge victoria's secret bag*
debbie: what is victoria's secret?
me: you know... the store that sells really slutty
bras and underwear...
debbie: Johnny needs those stuff!?!?
me: well duh.
johnny: *looks in bag*
johnny: thanks!
everyone: What!??
johnny: *pulls out this weeks swim class money*

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
February 20, 2013 7:33am UTC

Guess what guys?
Today I actually pressed the second page of Google results.

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 8:09am UTC

Pet Peeves #3
When the volume is at an odd number.
CHECK OUT x_light_x AND I FOR MORE FUNNY QUOTES(:

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 8:01am UTC

Pet Peeves #2
When rappers say 'are' instead of 'is' or the other way around to sound cool.
CHECK OUT x_tlight_x AND I FOR MORE FUNNY QUOTES(:

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 7:59am UTC

Pet Peeves #1
When someone says 'nothing could be worse' because the person they love is dating someone else.
Actually it could, the person could be pregnant, married, or dead.

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 6:20am UTC

I broke it off thinking you'd be crying.
Now I feel like sh-- looking at you flying .
I want you back

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 6:02am UTC

She can't see the way your eyes light up when you smile.
She'll never noticed how you stop and stare, whenever she walks by.

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 5:45am UTC

me: *spends 20 minutes making pretty quote*
me: *accidentally clicks random format*
me: *hyperventilates*
me: NOOOO!!!!

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isabeltheosm
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 5:41am UTC

And I owe it all to
My little bird