candyfish822's Quotes

candyfish822
posted a quote
August 4, 2011 12:31am UTC

Tip To Reduce Weight:
First turn your head to the left, then to the right. Repeat the exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

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candyfish822
posted a quote
August 3, 2011 10:02pm UTC

Did I invite you to my BBQ?
'Cause you're all up in my grill!
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candyfish822
posted a quote
August 3, 2011 9:57pm UTC

So when is the Wizard coming with your brain? ♥
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candyfish822
posted a quote
August 3, 2011 9:25pm UTC

Everything is funny as long as it happens to someone else

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candyfish822
posted a quote
August 3, 2011 9:20pm UTC

I'm not Fred Flinstone...
But I can make your BEDROCK.

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candyfish822
posted a quote
August 3, 2011 9:04pm UTC

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate a lot of interest.

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candyfish822
posted a quote
August 3, 2011 2:05pm UTC

Joke #1
Q: What do you get at "Dick's Sporting Goods"?
A: Balls!

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candyfish822
posted a quote
August 2, 2011 3:05pm UTC

I didn't say it was your fault.
I said I was going to blame you.

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candyfish822
posted a quote
August 2, 2011 3:00pm UTC

Do you have a Band-Aid?
Cuz I just scraped my knee falling for you
nmq

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candyfish822
posted a quote
August 2, 2011 2:54pm UTC

I'm in shape
Round is a shape.
nmq

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candyfish822
posted a quote
July 31, 2011 4:55pm UTC

Guy: I learned the true meaning of beauty when I first met you.
Girl: Aw, thanks! I learned the true meaning of beauty when I first looked in the mirror!

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candyfish822
posted a quote
July 31, 2011 9:59am UTC

Does anyone else wonder why guys don't like you back? Everything would be way easier if they did!

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candyfish822
posted a quote
July 30, 2011 11:55pm UTC

You're wishing that "special someone" is there with you...but then they show up and you don't have the nerve to talk to them
<3

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candyfish822
posted a quote
July 30, 2011 11:35pm UTC

"Where did she go now?"
"To your mom!"
"Y'know, it's not always about my mom!"

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candyfish822
posted a quote
July 30, 2011 11:30pm UTC

"You look really pretty today!"
"What, did I look ugly yesterday?!"

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candyfish822
posted a quote
July 23, 2011 1:34pm UTC

Only the strongest of people can cry in front of others

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candyfish822
posted a quote
July 23, 2011 1:11am UTC

"SCREW YOU!!"
"Oh yeah, well I need a screwdriver to do it!"

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Witty Profiles

candyfish822