british_american_chicks

british_american_chicks_rule

british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
October 28, 2010 10:56pm UTC

My School BLOCKED WITTY FML now what am i going to do in algebra???? pay attention????? NO im just gonna go on tumblr take that school.

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
October 19, 2010 8:03am UTC

So during field hockey practice we had to run suicides and me and my friend sam when we were done running them she said we were suicide buddies and our coaches just looked at us weirdly and we burst out laughing.

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
September 24, 2010 12:59pm UTC

Yesterday at my field hockey game we got a breakaway and we were about to score when we realized that there was a little girl skipping around the inside of the goal and when everyone realized we started screaming at the ref "there's a baby in the cage!" meanwhile the goalie was trying to shield the little girl from the ball if it came that way. eventually the ref stopped the play and the girl just skipped out of the cage like nothing happened. where was this girl's mother, you should not let children wander onto the field like that, they could get killed!!!

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
September 16, 2010 6:26pm UTC

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
September 16, 2010 10:42am UTC

Yesterday at Field Hockey practice we told a girl that her boyfriend was moving to Genovia and she believed us. then we played hide and seek (don't ask me why) but she was supposed to hide and we lost her and somebody else for about an hour. when her boyfriend came to pick her up we all started to sing the Genovian national anthem. best practice ever!

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
July 31, 2010 1:35pm UTC

Me: What would you do if i dyed your hair pink?
My Mother: I would kill you
My Brother: why would you do that pink is awesome?!!
Me: (Backs away slowly) OK..... that's cool Thomas
lol i love my brother

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
June 9, 2010 9:59am UTC

I'm waiting to get out of the classroom for finals and I'm playing Solitare on my computer and my teacher tells me to study for my next class. so i turn off my Solitare game... which i was winning and when the teacher looks away i go on witty instead and i am now much more entertained. thnx teacher this was the first time you looked at my screen all year and realized finally that I don't pay attention in your class. congratulations teach. you finally caught me on the last day!!!

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
June 4, 2010 7:51am UTC

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINALS HAVE STARTED
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:( :( :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
June 2, 2010 9:45pm UTC

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
June 1, 2010 1:52pm UTC

go to google type in jello time and click I'm feeling lucky it is hysterical lol

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
June 1, 2010 12:42pm UTC

my school just got this thing this year called iprism and it keeps on popping up every time I click on something on the internet and it is getting really annoying me cuz it pops up 2 or 3 times b4 it lets me onto the page i wanted to go on. ugh my school is so stupid

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
June 1, 2010 12:35pm UTC

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
May 14, 2010 1:11pm UTC

My school just blocked the lollimewire site my school is cruel. :(

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
May 14, 2010 1:00pm UTC

Weather Comparisons
+50 degrees Fahrenheit
New York tenants try to turn on the heat
People from Ontario plant gardens
+40
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Albertans sunbathe
+35
Italian cars don't start
+32
Distilled water freezes
+30
You can see your breath
You plan a vacation in Florida
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
Manitobans eat ice cream
+25
Lake Ontario water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Cat insists on sleeping on your bed
+20
New York water freezes
San Franciscans start thinking favorably of L.A.
Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
+15
You plan a vacation in Acapulco
Cat insists on sleeping IN your bed with you
B.C. residents go swimming
+10
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
Too cold to snow
You need jumper cables to get the car going
0
New York landlords turn on the heat
Newfoundlanders grill hot dogs on the patio, yum!
-5
You can HEAR your breath
You plan a vacation in Hawaii
-10
American cars don't start
Too cold to skate
-15
You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
People from Miami cease to exist
Canadians lick flagpoles
-20
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
People in NWT and Yukon think about taking down screens
-25
Too cold to kiss
You need jumper cables to get the driver going
Japanese cars don't start
Ottawa Rough Riders head for spring training
-30
You plan a two-week hot bath
Pilsener freezes
Bock beer production begins
NWT residents shovel snow off roof
-38
Mercury freezes
Too cold to think
Canadians do up their top button
-40
Californians disappear
Quebecers put on sweaters
-50
Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window
Green Bay Packers practice indoors
-60
Walruses abandon Aleutians
Ontarians put gloves away, take out mittens
Boy Scouts in Saskatchewan start Klondike Derby
-70
Glaciers in Central Park
Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste. Marie
-80
Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
Girl Scouts in Saskatchewan start Klondike Derby
-90
Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
Ontarians migrate to New York thinking it MUST be warmer south of the
border
-100
Santa Claus abandons North Pole
Canadians pull down earflaps
-173
Ethyl alcohol freezes
-297
Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
Microbial life survives only on dairy products
-445
Superconductivity
-452
Helium becomes a liquid
-454
Hell freezes over
-456
Quebec drivers drop below 150 KPH on highways
-460 (absolute zero)
All atomic motion ceases
Canadians start saying how it's a tad nippy outside

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
May 14, 2010 12:34pm UTC

There were these two professors arguing over which one had the dumber child. Each professor thought his was the bigger idiot. The first professor yells "There is no way that your son is dumber. My son has to be THE stupidest kid on Earth."
The second professor says "No way, Jose. My son is the bigger idiot."
The first professor says "Let me prove it to you. Hey Jake! (Jake runs to his father) I don't know if I left myself at the office or not. Would you run there and find out. If I'm there then tell me to come home and eat dinner."
The son says, gleefully, "Sure dad" and runs off.
The second professor not to be outdone says "Oh Yea! Watch this! Hey Sam! Come here! (Sam runs to his father) Here are two pennies. With one penny buy a car and the other buy a microwave."Sam says "OK." and leaves. The professors keep arguing. Jay and Sam meet in the street. And they start arguing which one has the dumber father. Jay says, "Well listen. My father told me to find out if he is at the office or not. Well all he had to do was to call the office and find out himself. Two minutes and he would be done. That is stupid if I've ever heard it."
Sam says "Well that is nothing. My dad told me to buy a car with one penny and a microwave with the other. But he didn't tell me which penny was for the car and which one is for the microwave."

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
May 7, 2010 10:37am UTC

Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time.

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
May 7, 2010 10:34am UTC

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
April 28, 2010 12:33pm UTC

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
April 26, 2010 12:35pm UTC

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.
I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, and had fastened the seatbelt around it to stop it falling over. I hadn't considered the drive across town.
At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."
The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, man," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

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british_american_chicks_rule
posted a quote
April 23, 2010 8:21pm UTC

Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."
The clerk said, "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

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