Hi im Kenize!:) im16 and just like any other teenage girl who wants to be pretty and get the guy of my dreams. I'm the kind of girl who lkes to go mudding, big trucks, mud wrestling, the river, etc. I'm musically inclined and can play about every instrument known to man. I'm a great listener and love to help people with their problems. I LOVE FOOD! and also dinosaurs:)<3
We started talking because i needed a friend and we go back a little. Now we talk almost every waking moment and skype everynight. but it's a shame because i think im starting to like you. which is bad.
I seriously don't know what to do. I'm helplessly lost right now. My bestfriend, who is my everything, the one I count on to be there for me, to make me happy and take my mind off things. Is leaving me. Moving 7 hours away. It kills me inside knowing that. But I thought It wont be terribly bad because i'll have my boyfriend. Well now he's leaving for half the summer for work. The summer we get together before he leaves for the Army, He's gonna be gone for most of it. Leaving me here by myself, with my mind that drives me mentally insane. I can't be alone for too long or bad things happen. And now im gonna be alone for months at a time. With nobody? I don't know what to do. I'm lost and confused. Who's gonna keep me safe from myself? Who's gonna laugh, and share memries with me now? A part of me wants to end it now. You and me. Just end it and move on so I'm ready for this. Maybe i'll find someone to help me through the summer then. I just don't know anymore.
How do I say this. You love me and yes i tell you i love you too but, I dont know if i really do or not. And that morning in my bed cuddling after we woke up you told me a lot of things and a couple where how you feel for me and really want to spend the rest of your life with me. But i dont know if i feel the same way too and i just dont know how to tell you that. Yes i really like you but enough to love you and spend the rest of my life with you? no idea.
This change, He won't contain. Slip away. To clear your mind, When asked, Who made it showed,T he truth, He gives in to most. So lay down, The threat is real. When his sight, goes red again. Seeing red again.
All I want to do is please you, I know i make mistakes but, i really do try my hardest not too. All i want is for you to be happy Dustin, and ovbiously im not the one who can do that. I'm sorry for the things i've done and all the dissapointmet i've made you feel I love you with all my heart. And i hate the feelings i get, when you tell me these things. It makes me want to hurt myself It makes me not want to live. Knowing i cant make the person i love happy.
In a few months my best friend is leaving me, the one who i adore the most and who i trust with my life. My solid rock i lean on when i need help. then a few months after she leaves my boyfriend leaves for basics. What the hel do you guys expect me to do?!
I really thought I was over you. I wasn't even upset for the longest time. But then one day it hit. The memories of us, came flooding in. Our silly conversations, where the best. You've moved on to bigger and better things. That doesn't meanI have though, You're on my mind everyday. I dream about you coming back, everynight. I text your number, But don't even know if it's still yours. It hurts.
Sometimes i miss you more than ever, i miss the texts you use to send me, i miss the late night phone calls just to say "i miss you" i miss singing our song it was a mistake letting you go, you changed my life, i need you. i love you. i miss you.