5 weeks ago I stopped breathing, by my own hand.
I wrote my father a letter before hand.
It read-
Dear Daddy,
I don't you if you're going to get this and hate me, if you're going to see what a worthless daughter I was, if you're going to see how f*ucked up in the head I am, and call me physcho too. Daddy, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was down on the ground on my knees, and they kicked me, they kicked me until I was gone. They let me drown, I couldn't reach the breath I needed, I couldn't swim out of the ocean of despair, I was drowning Daddy, where were you to save me? Daddy why couldn't you save me.? Daddy where are you? I'm so hurt, Daddy I can't breathe, Daddy help me, please help me. Daddy you were my hero and not even you can save me, run Daddy, Run to me, I'm slipping Daddy there's not much time, I'm drowning Daddy, I can't reach the surface, I've been under to long, and I'm done Daddy, I'm throwing my hands up I'm done, I surrendor to the pain, please end it quickly, I can't keep fighting any longer. Tell My baby sister that Sissy loved her so much♥ She kept me going so much longer, 3 months old, she's beautiful I can tell already how beautiful she'll be, please raise her to make me proud, Be there for her Daddy, Be there for her like you weren't there for me. I understand. I understand that you're too busy in Prison Dad, But please don't do this to her, she'll be two years old when you get out Dad, Make up for it, and if she asks about me, Don't tell her I was too weak, Please, Please don't tell her I killed myself. Tell her I fought. And that's what she's going to do too. Just know although you left me, although my world has been upside down since you went to prison on my birthday it's not your fault Daddy. It's not your fault. This is my choice,. and you're trying. Well you tried. I was going to be successful, I was going to change the world. God what a stupid little girl I was. This world is a f*cked up place Dad, and I'm just adding to it. There's 52 tylenol in my system right now Dad, and I can't breathe for real this time. And I'm shaking Dad, I can't see Daddy, help me. Daddy I can't breathe. Pick me up and run, get me to the hospital Dad. She's going to let me die. She's letting me drown, how can't she see my pain Daddy I'm in so much pain. And the blood there's so much blood. And so many tears, Daddy I feel sick, Why do I feel sick Daddy, why am I still breathing these shallow little breaths? When are they going to stop? I'm going to write you until I can't write anymore. Until I finally slip into a come, under the water, the pond of pain. depression. suffering. And I hear your laugh Dad the one I heard to rarely, and I see your smile Dad, the one I only saw twice, Daddy I want to see that smile one more time. And I know I will someday♥ If I make it to Heaven, But I think I'm going to Hell. I'm sorry Daddy. I'm sorry I didn't warn you about this pain. But I'm gone Daddy, my hand won't even write. There's no point in anything anymore.I love you♥
Soldierbyheart