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Soldierbyheart

Status:

Member Since: 19 Dec 2011 11:49am

Last Seen: 2 Feb 2014 12:51pm

Birthday: September 28

Location: Lostinmyheartandpain

Gender: F

user id: 252528

108 Quotes
2,286 Favorites
71 Following
89 Followers
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Sometimes we fall down, and we need the motivation to get back up..my motivation hasn't come yet, and I've made so many mistakes, I'm weak, I'm falling. and I'm breathing still.
  1. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    December 25, 2013 2:18pm UTC
    Society has broken me.

  2. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    December 25, 2013 2:15pm UTC
    I'm not good enough.
    I'm not good enough.
    I'm not good enough.
    I'm not good enough.
    I'm not good enough.
    I'm not good enough.

  3. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    November 16, 2013 8:08pm UTC
    Dont cry at my funeral, Ive been dead for a long time.

  4. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    November 16, 2013 7:56pm UTC
    Relationships stopped lasting so long because guys stopped chasing girls and the girls stopped seeing how special they are and lowered their standards.

  5. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    October 30, 2013 9:40pm UTC
    I don't even remember what it's like to not feel broken..

  6. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    September 2, 2013 12:19pm UTC
    My boyfriend's probably thinking "I'm dating a potato"

  7. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    September 2, 2013 12:16pm UTC
    Best friend- You're a special kind of stupid aren't you.
    Me- D: but..buttt. I only poked myself in the eye with a pen.
    Best friend- 5 times. And you demonstrated how it happened.

  8. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    July 24, 2013 7:52pm UTC
    If you ever want a Bikini body.....just put a bikini on your body.

  9. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2013 10:04pm UTC
    A cut to a vein.
    To hide all the pain.
    Purging not to gain.
    The weight and the shame.
    They think it's a game.
    as blood runs down the drain.
    You die what a shame.
    A suicidal fame.

  10. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    June 4, 2013 5:07pm UTC
    Teens are told that high school is the easy part in life.
    I now understand why Teen suicide rates are so high.
    If High school is this awful, then they saw there was nothing to live for in life.

  11. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    May 30, 2013 10:11pm UTC
    I wish I was good enough.
    I wish I was good enough.
    I wish I was good enough.
    I wish I was good enough.
    I wish I was good enough.
    I wish I was good enough.

  12. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    May 17, 2013 11:13pm UTC
    My Name's Tara.
    I'm 15.
    My New step-dad was an abusive alcoholic.
    My crush since I was 9, asked me out last year and cheated on me with my sister.
    My step-mom since I was a year old left my Dad.
    My Father was never home and I hated him.
    Then my mom gave me my first black eye, a week later a second.
    Then a week later my grandma died. 4 Days before my birthday.
    On my birthday my father went to prison.
    I count everyday he's been gone.228
    His girlfriend had a baby (his yes) on January 3rd.
    I was a cutter.
    I used to have an eating disorder.
    I've lost 4 of my siblings to divorce.
    6 weeks ago I overdosed. 52 Tylenol.
    Yesterday my Godfather, caught on fire, and had second degree burns on 65% of his body. He's in a coma, he hasn't woken up.
    And I'm still pushing through all this pain looking for the good.
    You can too

  13. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    April 28, 2013 3:58pm UTC
    Me- *falls out of bed*
    wtf blankets... You decided to tag team me with my feet, where you tackle me and my feet let me fall. why. what'd I ever do to you.
    Me- *laying on the floor* Hellpp!!! Slay the monsters, bad blanket*wrestling with blanket on the floor*
    Brother- Tara.. What happened?
    Me- The monst.the blanket. go rawrrr. my feet go swoosh, I go boom! earthquake ahhhh!!!
    Him-....
    Me-......
    Mom.......
    Kellin Quinn.....
    Me- Commencing operation shove foot in mouth. *slowly crawls under my bed.*

  14. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 8:13pm UTC
    And now I know why they hate me.. because I hate me too.

  15. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    April 21, 2013 9:24pm UTC
    5 weeks ago I stopped breathing, by my own hand.
    I wrote my father a letter before hand.
    It read-
    Dear Daddy,
    I don't you if you're going to get this and hate me, if you're going to see what a worthless daughter I was, if you're going to see how f*ucked up in the head I am, and call me physcho too. Daddy, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was down on the ground on my knees, and they kicked me, they kicked me until I was gone. They let me drown, I couldn't reach the breath I needed, I couldn't swim out of the ocean of despair, I was drowning Daddy, where were you to save me? Daddy why couldn't you save me.? Daddy where are you? I'm so hurt, Daddy I can't breathe, Daddy help me, please help me. Daddy you were my hero and not even you can save me, run Daddy, Run to me, I'm slipping Daddy there's not much time, I'm drowning Daddy, I can't reach the surface, I've been under to long, and I'm done Daddy, I'm throwing my hands up I'm done, I surrendor to the pain, please end it quickly, I can't keep fighting any longer. Tell My baby sister that Sissy loved her so much♥ She kept me going so much longer, 3 months old, she's beautiful I can tell already how beautiful she'll be, please raise her to make me proud, Be there for her Daddy, Be there for her like you weren't there for me. I understand. I understand that you're too busy in Prison Dad, But please don't do this to her, she'll be two years old when you get out Dad, Make up for it, and if she asks about me, Don't tell her I was too weak, Please, Please don't tell her I killed myself. Tell her I fought. And that's what she's going to do too. Just know although you left me, although my world has been upside down since you went to prison on my birthday it's not your fault Daddy. It's not your fault. This is my choice,. and you're trying. Well you tried. I was going to be successful, I was going to change the world. God what a stupid little girl I was. This world is a f*cked up place Dad, and I'm just adding to it. There's 52 tylenol in my system right now Dad, and I can't breathe for real this time. And I'm shaking Dad, I can't see Daddy, help me. Daddy I can't breathe. Pick me up and run, get me to the hospital Dad. She's going to let me die. She's letting me drown, how can't she see my pain Daddy I'm in so much pain. And the blood there's so much blood. And so many tears, Daddy I feel sick, Why do I feel sick Daddy, why am I still breathing these shallow little breaths? When are they going to stop? I'm going to write you until I can't write anymore. Until I finally slip into a come, under the water, the pond of pain. depression. suffering. And I hear your laugh Dad the one I heard to rarely, and I see your smile Dad, the one I only saw twice, Daddy I want to see that smile one more time. And I know I will someday♥ If I make it to Heaven, But I think I'm going to Hell. I'm sorry Daddy. I'm sorry I didn't warn you about this pain. But I'm gone Daddy, my hand won't even write. There's no point in anything anymore.I love you♥

  16. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    April 1, 2013 9:25pm UTC
    *Telephone rings*
    It's suicide calling my name.

  17. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    April 1, 2013 12:18pm UTC
    And I was scared
    scared that you'd find someone else,
    scared that you would forget me,
    scared that you'd replace me.

  18. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    March 30, 2013 5:33pm UTC
    "That Night,"
    3 weeks ago, all started when my mother and I had found ourselves in yet another huge blown-out argument like the ones we got in almost everyday. That night when all I heard waas my mother screaming " I want that f*cking c*nt out of my house and I want her out of my house now." and all I could feel was the numbness in my head where she had thrown the phone and it had struck me. That night I locked myself in my bedroom hearing the screaming, and the medicene in my hand hadn't looked the same as it once did. That night I said " I'm done trying, I give up, I've surrendered, you've won, you've got me down on my knees, kick me while I'm down." And then I took 52 tylenol. That night on the way to the hospital my vision was black yet my eyes were open. voices were a blur, I felt as if there was puke in my throat, I was so dizzy I couldn't stand, my head was pounding, and I couldn't think along with my arms and legs shaking uncontrollably. That night was the first of 3 nights spent in the E.R with 2 collapsed veins, 36 needles in my arms, adn blood drawn every 3 hours. That night I prayed I would stop breathing. That night was the first of 2 nights I wasn't allowed to eat or drink. That night lead to my stepfather asking my if I wanted him to buy me another bottle of tylenol to eat when I replied I was hungry. That night lead to 5 nights on suicide watch in the BSU. That night lead to dirty looks and whisphers and mumbles in the hallways. That night I had given up hope, but not all hope, because I still had hope that they hadn't given up hope of me for what I had done that night.

  19. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    March 3, 2013 8:18pm UTC
    If you can say " It's just a joke."
    Then I can say "It's just a cut."

  20. Soldierbyheart Soldierbyheart
    posted a quote
    February 23, 2013 11:26pm UTC
    Him- what's wrong with you?
    Me- what's wrong with your face?
    Him- that's mean!
    Me- that's what your mom said when the nurse said "Here's your son :P"
    Him-.....
    My mom-....
    Kellin Quinn......
    My cat.....
    me....
    God...
    Steve...
    An elephant...
    That kid in France....
    Him....O.o
    Me...Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! That was so mean! Forgive me please! I'm so sorry! I can't believe I said that! Oh my gosh!
    Him- starts laughing histarical.
    My mom- what's wrong with you!
    Me- Let's not go through this again .-.

:)

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