i knew it would be hard. it has always been hard. i knew it would take long. i knew it would be like this. i almost regret having any optimism. false hopes. overqualified. underqualified. somewhere in between. overall not good enough. not what we're looking for. goodluck next time. we'll keep it on record, just in case. but at the end of the day it still comes back to not what we're looking for. overqualified. underqualified. "thank you"s in between. a bunch of "not successfuls" and "but"s. am i at the stage where it's still too early to give in? because i really want to. i'm qualified for more rejections and ego blows. unqualified for any good that could come beyond that. good intentions don't mean anything. sounds good or awful on paper. in person can't pull it off. masked in disadvantage. obstacles galore. i will overcome this all one day. i know. but it's always the right now that is hard. and one day is not my life. my life is right now and right now is hard.
let's go for a walk just because. i feel like smiling just because. i want to wake up tomorrow...just because. it's not as bad anymore. i don't sigh when i breathe anymore. i eat to live now. don't have your guard up, there's no particular reason. just because. just because i've met you.
roseate* posted a quote
December 11, 2017 9:37pm EST
“ Do not love half lovers Do not entertain half friends Do not indulge in works of the half talented Do not live half a life and do not die a half death If you choose silence, then be silent When you speak, do so until you are finished Do not silence yourself to say something And do not speak to be silent If you accept, then express it bluntly Do not mask it If you refuse then be clear about it for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance Do not accept half a solution Do not believe half truths Do not dream half a dream Do not fantasize about half hopes Half a drink will not quench your thirst Half a meal will not satiate your hunger Half the way will get you no where Half an idea will bear you no results Your other half is not the one you love It is you in another time yet in the same space It is you when you are not Half a life is a life you didn’t live, A word you have not said A smile you postponed A love you have not had A friendship you did not know To reach and not arrive Work and not work Attend only to be absent What makes you a stranger to them closest to you and they strangers to you The half is a mere moment of inability but you are able for you are not half a being You are a whole that exists to live a life not half a life. —KHALIL GIBRAN
roseate* posted a quote
September 11, 2017 7:22pm EDT
Please keep all credit in the codes/parts of codes you'd like to use. [That includes keeping this little message thing here as well. c:] (c) Gilded G rowing up is just a series of realizations – either FASCINATING OR DISCONCERTING.
Please leave format credit to 1986! i asked god to take you out of my life if you weren't going to bring me more happiness than pain. And he immediately took you away. and yet i still wasn't satisfied because i wanted to be the one who called the shots, I wanted to be the one who ended things. I just wanted you to stay until someone better came along...how selfish of me. “
i can't hide it anymore. i am insecure. i overthink. things bother me. i am not the cool girl. i am not the girl who can just laugh it off and smile it away. i am not the low maintenenance, laid back chick where everything stays "casual". i am not the girl who doesn't need reassurance every once in a while that she's good enough because the thought that maybe she isn't never crosses her mind. sometimes things are hard with me. sometimes i have doubts. sometimes i get upset, i get jealous, i cry, i throw fits. sometimes i have desires. sometimes i have emotions. that doesn't make me crazy. sometimes i'm human. just because i can be difficult sometimes does not mean that i am not worth it.