LandonIsWitty's Quotes

LandonIsWitty

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 9:59pm UTC

once upon a time someone told me i was cute
*insert laugh track here*

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 3:37pm UTC

THIS IS AMERICA, PEOPLE.
It's totally cool if you state your opinion on the internet.
BUT THIS IS AMERICA.
Which means it's also totally cool if someone b-tches you out because they disagree.
SO. If you're going to say something, toughen up, brace yourself, and learn to deal with a little hate.
And I'll end with a joke:
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A Doyouthinkhesawus !

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 11:45am UTC

6 year old me: yeah I'll probably be famous or something by the time I'm a teenager.
teenage me: I once watched 7 seasons of this show on netflix in one night.
*Moonwalks off into the sunset*

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 11:35am UTC

Miley Cyrus used to be all "boom clap, boom de clap de clap."
And now shes twerking in music videos and scaring jimmy kimmel.
I wonder how roxy would feel about this.

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 11:31am UTC

Today I opened a brand new bag of chips & the first one i ate was stale.
This is the main reason I have trust issues.

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 26, 2013 11:30am UTC

i miss you

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 11:57pm UTC

Guess what, everyone!?
Not all girls are pretty. Not all guys are hot.
I know, this is a brand new concept.
Go ahead and take a moment.

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 11:03pm UTC

Does anyone remember the old witty?
Not the really old witty, just a few years ago..
When top quotes got 1,000+ faves?
When we didn't get so p/ssed at each other?
When opinions and vents were allowed?
When quotes didnt have to be funny to get some faves?
Well, I do. Sigh.

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 10:56pm UTC

What if the internet was broadcasted on the news?
*Anchorman voice*
"Today, at 5 o'clock:
@MikeCuddy_22 is still fighting with @GinaSwag_Gurll over twitter.
BravoSierra has about 10 top quotes.. No surprise there.
Instagram has introduced video capabilities.. Say goodbye to vine.
@Miss_Classy_Shizz says she hates her mom.. for the fourth time this week.
Some basic teenage male retweeted an *ahem* -indecent- pic from @ilikegirlsdaily
You just reblogged 107 pictures of cats.
More at eleven."
DUNN NUNN NAHH

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 10:41pm UTC

Yanno what sucks?
I could text you every single day, talk to you all the time, see you whenever i want, and still, it would never be enough.
What's worse, is that the feeling isn't, and probably never will be, mutual.
*Sigh*

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 11:26pm UTC

Everyone's got that name.
when you hear it, the memories come flooding back, drowning you in emotion.
or it shows up on your phone, right when you thought it didnt matter anymore.
or, worst of all, the person whom the name belongs to decides to slip back into your life again.
and even though you miss them oh so dearly, you dread getting attatched again.
but you know its inevitable.
and thats why love sucks.

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 5:25pm UTC

me: *goes back to bed*
there is no more to this quote.
that is my whole life.
a l l o f i t .

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 5:05pm UTC

basically my mood every day:
ew
how about no
can u not
stahp
get a life
honestly are you that dumb
i'm done
leave
get out
go home
is it possible to die of stupidity exposure
get away from me peasant

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 4:59pm UTC

i feel like i really am a fun and original person
but i literally have so little confidence that
i could never dream of expressing
myself in the ways that i
really wish i
could.

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 4:54pm UTC

I can't wait til I get you on the floor, good lookin.
Goin out so hot, just like an oven.
And I'll burn myself, but just had to touch it.
It's so fly, and it's all mine.
...I softly sang to my pizza as i pulled it from the microwave.
quote credit to landoniswitty

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 10:49am UTC

If i text you and you joke around about not liking me i laugh but then at 2:30 in the morning i'll read our texts and over analyze everything and decide that you weren't joking and you probably want to never see me again and you hope i die in a hole and honestly this is probably why i've never had a girlfriend oops.

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
March 7, 2013 11:05am UTC

Isn't it funny how
The things we can't change, end up changing us?

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
March 4, 2013 11:17am UTC

Just because you're not perfect,
Doesn't mean that you don't matter.

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
March 4, 2013 11:08am UTC

This is
10 percent luck,
20 percent skill,
15 percent concentrated power of will,
5 percent pleasure,
50 percent pain,
and 100 percent reason to
remember the name.

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
February 28, 2013 10:25pm UTC

How can I expect people to like me,
{>> when I don't even like myself? << }

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