I can't remember the exact moment when my world turned black and white. When the colour was sucked out of my soul like it was nothing and turned to vapor to disappear. It didn't happen overnight, but gradually. Every time I was let down, my heart broken again, every lie someone told me..someone I really trusted..someone I believed in, every time someone took from me what wasnt there's to take, another breath of colour escaped me..like a light turning dim. How does the universe choose us, the ones with glazed over eyes? And how does the universe choose who will always keep their light? I wanted to be like those girls who are bright, when they smile..they mean it...when they laugh..its real. No one ever hurt them, no one taught them they are small, no man took advantage..everyone in their life was always who they said they were. I want to trust. I want to believe. I want to smile. I want to be happy. I want to feel. But now all I feel is ruined..My world is Black and White. ♡
this is so important please read... listen to me. no fr just listen. put aside all your hate and get rid of the tension. you dont like someone because they're differet than you? because they grew up different and talk different, they look different than you? they dont have the same clothes as you, maybe they dont even speak the same language as you...so what? Ya. okay so we're all different. this world is so beautiful because of the diversity in it..honestly i love it. i hope we never get rid of it. i pray we can all learn to love each other. i pray all those you hate, one day you'll call brother. i wish things were just perfect. i wish kids like us didnt die..our generation its like all we do is cry. how many of your friends have committed suicide? how many times have YOU tried? how many times have you laid awake at night, tear stains on your pillow as you quietly cried? ya i know, because ive been there too, im right there with you..all we can really do is get through..its hard. you cant see the light and its like the whole 🌎 is just dark like night....so when will we stop? stop putting each other down..maybe create someones smile today instead of making them frown. maybe tell someone you love them twice instead of just once..maybe give an extra hug...maybe spend that extra minute with the ones you love..just slow down..its not big things...its really just the little things that can make the big difference. create love today, lets make everyone shine...with all this darkness, i know, you really gotta grind. ya Its not easy to be the only one...you feel all alone tryna shine bright like the sun when all they wanna do is put you down..but just try it...i swear we can make a difference...all we have to do is apply it. Its so simple really...we have to live it..going back to the golden rule..we cant give in. Be different, lets just be ourselves...and except each other for it..we should respect each other for it..ill stand beside my enemy because I have to admit it...i wanna leave this world better than before i was in it. 💓🌎💓
While I was taking off my clothes, I felt the cloud. I took off my shirt and my socks and got in shower. When I was in the shower, I felt the cloud getting closer. I know it wanted to drown me. It made me want it to. I felt you behind me and it was like a knife...its blade made me shiver. I put my face in the water and my heart was breaking and I saw myself when I looked at the bottom of the tub and I watched the water go down the drain and I turned into darkness...like a liquid cloud...and I mixed with the water...and I turned gray...and I washed away down the drain...and I wanted it. The cloud made me remember the first time it came...and every time it came...and I realized I dont know who I am. And now I never will. I will never get the chance. I gave up knowing myself alone...to always be with you...but thats not why I cried. I felt so exposed when you looked at me and I hated it... and I hate that I hated it..because every time you look at me I just want to feel loved...but the cloud made me feel like everything is wrong. The cloud makes me think that I should be the darkness and turn into gray and wash down the drain...and it makes me want to never get out of bed or brush my hair and it makes my eyes red and it makes my throat hurt and it makes my heart break and I cant breathe… and really I dont know why...and it sometimes goes away….and then it always comes back. It doesnt make sense but thats what it feels like when I feel the cloud....it wraps me up in its blanket to keep me close so no one else can touch me… and when someone else does...it feels like the knife.......and this is my life.
I want to turn into light. I want to be the moon. I want you to be my stars. If I was bright enough, would you want only me? I want to turn into light. To be a firefly. I want you to be the summer night. So we can always be Together.