KeepTheInsanity

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Member Since: 15 Apr 2013 01:58pm

Last Seen: 30 Jan 2015 01:42pm

Gender: F

user id: 357049

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 3:28pm UTC

just because someone looks happy
doesn't mean they are
because even a white rose
has a black shadow
-c.m.h

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 3:25pm UTC

January 20th, 2014
Most nights
At 2am
I wonder
Where I'll be in
Five
Ten
Fifteen
Years
Other nights
At 2am
I wonder
If I'll make it that far
n.r.g.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 3:22pm UTC

i was four and the waves came to swallow my sandcastle and
my father told me that i coudln't save everything
and i cried
i was seven when i first saw a stranger bleed. her scraped knee
wept down her leg. i remember they pushed me to the side
so they could help her and i just stood there
and stared
i was fifteen the first time someone finally
asked about the thin red lines and i told them it was
my cat and they nodded and
forgot about it.
i am twenty and trying to save every person
who comes through my life because i was so bad
for so long and it marked me in ways i am still discovering
but you can't help everybody, i know that too well
because despite all my pretending otherwise, i couldn't even
save myself.
--- r.i.d

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 3:13pm UTC

The bravest thing
I ever did was
continuing my life
when I wanted to die

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 3:11pm UTC

hesitating before knocking on a door
because you need a moment
to muster up the courage
leaving the supermarket
because you couldn't find what you wanted
and asking someone is not an option
feeling your heart palpitate
when dialing a number
because your mom made you phone yourself
rehearsing your response in your head
before raising your hand in class
to make sure you don't screw it up
staying silent when sitting with a group at lunch
because you never know
anything you say can be ridiculed
(SF.)

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 3:05pm UTC

I don't think I'm beautiful. At times, I
think I look pretty, but all it takes is a
bad picture of me, seeing gorgeous
girls, people pointing out my flaws &
I start feeling horrible about myself. I
try not to let people's opinions of me
affect the way I see myself, but
sometimes it's so hard. People tell
me I'm perfect, gorgeous, pretty,
beautiful, but they don't see what I
see. I just don't seee myself being
good enough.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 3:03pm UTC

When I'm upset.
I shut myself down.
I have no motivation for anything.
I tell myself that nobody cares,
even though I know some do.
I think about all of the negative things
I could possibly think of.
I give myself all the pain,
thinking I deserve it.
I'm not sure why I do that,
but that's just how I am.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 2:59pm UTC

the
demons
are back and
stronger than ever.
they are looking for a
fight. looking to win. and
this time, i might just let them.
k.c.w.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 2:54pm UTC

And in her head grew
A list of things she'd
Done wrong, names she'd
Been called, and mistakes
She'd made. Slowly, these
Were the things she
Became.
(Julie Martinez)

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 2:53pm UTC

And then sadness hit me like a
bullet in the back. I realized that
my only friends at 3A.M. were the
demons inside my head and the
loneliness inside my bed.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
April 6, 2014 2:50pm UTC

I have thoughts in my head
that would make you want to cry
and I've carved them into
every wall of my body
and every inch of my soul.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
February 6, 2014 7:43pm UTC

I can't even walk past a mirror
without thinking about how f/cking disgusting I am.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
December 15, 2013 5:21pm UTC

Someone please, take the sadness away.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
October 30, 2013 4:51pm UTC

i can think of
a hundred ways to die
and a hundred ways to do it
but i can't think of
a hundred ways to live
or a hundred ways to do it
so i lock myself away
for hundreds of hours
and hundreds of days
and try not to think at all
b.r

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
October 16, 2013 4:38pm UTC

It's 6 a.m, she wakes up, ready for school.
She smiles. She's moms little sunshine.
She is sitting in her class. She looks happy. But no one knows that she thinks about suicide.
She laughs when the other kids are laughing.
She's alone in the school breaks, but she smiles.
When she comes home from school she spends time with her family.
It seems that she's happy.
But when the night comes, she's all alone. She feels numb, empty and lonely.
She's no longer smiling. She looks sad.
She looks in the mirror and then she breaks down.
She can't stand the way she looks. Ugly, fat, and disgusting.
She can't stand her thoughts and feelings anymore she hides everyday.
She's crying. She's laying in her bed and thinks about her life.
She hates her life.
She wants to scream, she is in so much pain and no one knows, but she can't.
She feels weak. The voices are telling her "You're ugly, go starve you dumb fat cow. Cut yourself, you'll feel better after cutting yourself. Kill youself, no one needs you."
Then she took the blade and cuts herself.
She cuts until she feels dizzy.
Everywhere is blood. She wants to cut deeper until she dies. How would it be to die?
It would be peaceful, she thought.
She's still crying until she falls asleep.
She dreams about suicide, the dreams in which she dies are the best dreams she ever had. She wants her dreams to come true.
And when she'll wake up the next day, she'll repeat it all again.
She wants to die. She can't do this anymore.
And the worst part is,
she is me. -E.W

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
October 16, 2013 3:40pm UTC

Back to school
Back to anxiety
Back to stress
Back to people I hate
Back to people that hate me
Back to teachers
Back to work
Back to bullies
Back to clubs
Back to tryouts
Back to hurt
Back to classes
Back to mean girls
Back to judgement
Back to head down in the hallways
Back to long sleeves
Back to crying
Back to falling
Back to trying hard
Back to not being good enough
Back to please don't make me go.
-k

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
October 16, 2013 3:34pm UTC

The only solution was cutting myself.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
October 16, 2013 3:30pm UTC

You say "Don't hurt yourself tonight"
yet you don't mention the
numerous scars covering yout body.
You say "Suicide isn't the solution"
yet you don't mention the
stash of sleeping pills under your bed.
You say "Recovery is possible"
yet you don't mention the
months you've been trying to get better.
You say "Scales are for fish"
yet you don't mention the
mornings you let that scale define you.
You say "I'm fine"
yet you don't mention the
blood gushing out of your body,
tears streaming down your face,
darkness engulfing your being.
sc

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
October 16, 2013 3:25pm UTC

Honestly? I'm miserable.. & I
kind of really want to kill
myself.

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KeepTheInsanity
posted a quote
October 16, 2013 3:19pm UTC

Battle scars
show you lost the fight,
not the war.

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